Happy Halloween and the Crud!

I haven't posted much and to be completely honest haven't stayed on task this week.

Last Saturday we had a church Luau. It was a lot of fun with great food and wonderful entertainment. Come Sunday night I had a child throwing up, at midnight two more began to vomit. I was up until 4:30 a.m. caring for three vomiting kids.

When the day started to progress on Monday I found out over 38 families had been hit by the same thing. Many thought food poisoning from the Luau but new outbreaks let us know it was just a bad bug, someone came sick, that got to many. I've been spending my week caring for kids. A fourth came down with pneumonia. One of my vomiting girls threw up more than 50 times. With nothing in her tummy she started vomiting up a little blood. She missed the whole week of school, not good when it's your senior year. To top it all off I got sick last night.

This Halloween day wasn't what we planned but so far it's been a success. Daddy took the three youngest out while the older four were at parties at their friends' houses.

I'm giving myself one more day to sleep, recuperate and then Monday I'll be hitting my plan again!

Checking In

All right, it's almost 11:00 p.m. but I want to check in before heading to bed! I really want to stay accountable and I LOVE the support I get from reading others blog so it's keeping me motivated to maintain one for myself.

It's been a crazy day. Even though the fever seems to be gone at our home it's left my kids CRANKY! My one-year-old wanted to constantly be held. My routine ended up being cleaning for 7-10 minutes (if I was lucky) and then sit and cuddle for awhile. I DO love a cuddle from my little ones (hey, even my big kids!!!, and I mean BIG. My 15 year old is 6 foot 6. Love it when they come cozzy up with me on the couch.)

I just have so much on my plate a lot of times I don't stop to enjoy things. Today my mom and her husband came to town. I wanted to get my home cleaned up before they arrived but it didn't happen. I think they'll love me anyway. My mom lives two hours away and in January will be leaving to live in Johannesburg, South Africa to do missionary work for our church. She's trying to catch up on all the grandkid stuff she can before she leaves. Today was a football game (we won) and my oldest's orchestra concert (she plays the viola). Tomorrow is another football game, free day on Friday, Pumpkin patch on Saturday, a niece's baptism on Sunday and then my daughter's last cross country meet on Monday. My mom has 15 grandkids in town so she'll be spread thin trying to get in all the activities but we're glad they made the time to come!!!

Okay, so I'm trying to get really committed to this. I've gone back and forth not really knowing which way I want to go about losing the weight. In 2005 I lost 70 lbs in 3.5 months on a high protein low carb diet. It came off and it came off fast but it obviously didn't stay off. I want a little bit more freedom to eat whatever I want but at the same time don't want too much freedom. There are some things that one little taste will throw me off the deep end. Chocolate is one!!! I'm going to count calories fluctuating between 1500 and 1750, to keep my body guessing. As the weight comes off I'll lower the numbers a bit.

The big key for me is keeping a journal of everything I eat. I went and bought a cute one today but I might start another blog that keeps track of my eating. I made a yummy recipe, first time to try it. I even took the time to sit down and figure out the calorie content for the whole meal and then divided it by 12 servings. Each serving came out to be 350 calories. Not bad with a huge side of green salad. As the nights get colder one of my weaknesses is to enjoy a cup of HOT chocolate once my kiddos go to bed and I have a chance to unwind. I usually have a large mug but tonight I made do with a regular one serving size and it was just fine. I might change my cocoa to the diet kind to give me more wiggle room in the calorie counting.

I sat down to tally my calories for the day and I came up with 1560! Not bad!!! I was worried about making a normal casserole for my family and me eating some and having the hot cocoa but it all worked out. It's a good thing I didn't cave and have seconds on the yummy dinner!! I almost did but...NO SECONDS.

I did have a failure today, no exercise. I really have to make the time to do it first thing in the morning. My day, afternoon, and evenings get so CRAZY that if I don't get it done first thing it's not going to get done. This is a huge deal because I know the weight will NOT come off unless I get this body moving.

So some of my goals:
Exercise a minimum of 30min six days a week (I'll add strength training soon)
Drink 8 glasses of water. I usually do five.
Log every bite taken and stick to between 1500 and 1750 calories a day.

I'm heading off to bed. 5:30 comes way too early. Good night!

First Week Complete

I made it, I got through my first week of changing the way I eat and take care of my body. There were ups and downs, I wasn't perfect in my plan but I kept plugging away. I weighed 317.4 which gives me a loss of 4.2 lbs!!! I'll take it. My goal now is to NOT see those same four pounds again.

Tomorrow will be the first day in 2.5 weeks that I'll have all of my school-aged kids at school. I'm looking forward to it!!! Taking care of sick kids can be very taxing and definitely threw me off of my game plan once or twice.

Yesterday, with three kids sick, I knew it was going to be a crazy day and if I didn't get my exercise in first thing that it wouldn't get done. At 8:45 when my healthy 4th grader was heading off to school I decided to leave my sick five-year-old with his sick 13 and 15 year old brothers and go for a walk. I loaded my 21-month-old into her stroller, walked to the school giving my 9-year-old a kiss good-bye and off we went. We did a nice 1.5 mile walk. We walked past a fun park and my little one let out screeches wanting to play. I told her no, today we're out to walk. On the way home we had to pass by the same way. Again I heard screams of delight coming from the stroller as the slides came in view. I started saying No, we need to get home but then stopped myself. I'm trying to change my bad habits, live healthier and teach that to my kids. We pulled off the trail and hit the play-structure. We had a blast!

My first week I walked 1.25 miles each day since that's what my 11-year-old runs for her cross country meets. Well, this week I'm upping it to 1.5. I think I'll add a little bit each week until I get up to a 5k then I can work on cutting down my time.

One of my favorite shows on TV is The Biggest Loser. I always record it while I'm helping kids with homework and getting little ones to bed then when things calm down I'm able to sit down with a cup of Diet Hot Cocoa and enjoy their struggles and successes and gain inspiration. Today had been a very tiring day and I was so looking forward to the show. I forgot to set the record button but quickly got it going 15 minutes into the show. Finally at 9:40 I was able to stop what I was doing and enjoy my ME-time! I grabbed my hot cocoa, sat in the recliner, put it in the recline position, grabbed the remote control, turned on my dvr and clicked on The Biggest Loser. Ahhhh, this is the life, I thought, as I felt myself relax releasing the stress of the day. The stress quickly resurfaced when not Biggest Loser came on but the Baseball game. WHAT?!?!?! Somehow the game got recorded even though it showed the title Biggest Loser and it was NBC. ARGHHH. I needed some inspiration for the contestants. I'll have to look forward to watching it later this week on reruns.

Well, it's late now, I need to get to bed so I'll be able to get my kids up early for school. It's been a great week, I've met some great new friends and HUGE examples out in the blogging world. 4.2 lbs and counting...WooHoo!

Today was a wonderful Sunday but as the day progressed I've felt myself bracing for a difficult week.

My one year old has a 103 fever, it's now 10:30 at night and she's still up crying.

My five year old who had his tonsils and adenoids removed two weeks ago (he's missed school for that long as well) came down today with a 104.5 fever. He's very disappointed because he was looking forward to finally going back to school tomorrow.

My just turned 15 year old might have pneumonia, we'll find out tomorrow when we go to the doctor.

My 13 year old came down with the stomach flu tonight, he's not able to keep anything down.

It seems like this is what happens, anytime I try to get started something gets thrown in my way to slow me down. I AM staying committed. It will make it tougher to get my exercise in as I care for all the sickies but NOT impossible. I am telling myself there will ALWAYS be something to use as an excuse but that's why I am where I am, I've used all the excuses...No longer!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hands washed hoping we can keep these germs from spreading to the rest of the family. I don't even want to think how long our home could be sick with 9 family members and two different germs going around.

Determined but shaky!

I'm still plugging away. My older kids didn't have school yesterday so my cross country runner and I went to the high school track, along with my one-year-old, and exercised. While she got her running in I was able to walk my goal of 1.25 miles. She finished sooner than me and took her little sister out of the jogging stroller and watched her while I finished. It was fun to watch them "run" the track together.

Today is my 2nd child's 15th b-day. He had some friends spend the night so it was a crazy night at our house. This morning my daughter followed through with our commitment to go walk again. This time we did it in our neighborhood. We did 1.5 miles today, it felt great, but tiring!!!

I'm committed to my workouts, it's something I can do, check off my list and go on with my day. The eating portion is a different story! I'm a stress-eater!!! Almost any fluctuation in emotion can set me off on a craving. The hardest part is I constantly have to focus on it, be aware of it, monitor it and then try to talk myself down when it seems I can't resist the HIGH CARB, Sugary foods calling my name.

When I've had success with weight loss it's like a switch went on that kept me focused on the goal and nothing could get in my way. The switch hasn't gone on yet, it's something I'm trying to force because I know it's needed for my health and well-being. There may be, I take that back, there WILL be slip ups along the way but I'm hoping the more I fake the right moves the more they'll become a natural part of my routine and lifestyle.

The Little Child Shall Lead You!

So my last post was made about a month ago. I'm still watching Biggest Loser, still inspired and motivated but obviously NOT enough to do anything about it.

I know a change needs to be made, known it for years. I've tried off and on, mostly off, to do something about making a change. EVERY time I've tried I've seen results, my problem is sticking with it. Most attempts have been one day, some a week or a month. The longest was 3.5 months in 2005 when I lost 70lbs. I was looking so good then life got in the way and I never got back on track.

Here I am back again, making the effort to begin again. It would be so easy to just sit back and continue living as I am but the result of that would be a lot of pain, fear of dying, not being actively involved with my family and the ultimate...DEATH, an early one.

Am I 100% committed to doing this? NO! But I know I have to take the first step and hope by doing so I'll find more enthusiasm as the numbers I see on the go down and gain more energy. I need to say the kick in the rear I received this time came from my 11-year-old daughter, although she didn't realize she was doing it.

My wonderful 6th grader is amazing, gorgeous, fun and, yes, overweight. She hasn't always been but because of the bad example of her parents she hasn't truly learned the right way of eating. When she started middle school in September she came home talking about her P.E. class and how they had to run/walk a mile, improving their time each day. Then she started coming home talking about Cross Country. I could tell the way she talked that it was something she was contemplating. A week and a half into the season she said she really wished she had signed up for Cross Country. I was shocked, surprised, and impressed!!! There's no way I would ever have considered doing cross country as a youth...or NOW. I got on the phone, called the school and asked if it was too late. They said that their first meet was in two days so the coaches would have to make that decision. My daughter was thrilled to get called down to the office to be told that YES she could join the team.

I missed her first meet due to my five-year-old having surgery but her second one was this Monday. She headed to the park where the meet was being held with her school and I drove over there to meet her. Not knowing exactly where the actual meet was being held in the extensive park I decided to park my car and just walk until I found it. I ran into parents from another school who were also trying to track down the kids so we walked together. The whole time I was walking I was embarrassed about my weight, my size and more importantly the difficulty I was having walking with complete strangers and starting to breath heavily.

We finally found the kids and I was able to walk around slowly, cooling down, catching my breath after what felt like my own personal 5K race.

I don't know if you've noticed but most people who gravitate to running are skinnie-minnies!!! As I saw the kids line up I was nervous for my daughter. She definitely doesn't look like a runner. We've been talking about how she's not going to win the races this first year but that she can race against herself and improve her times each week. They blew the gun, the runners were off and the spectators cheered.

Since it's cross country those watching weren't able to see the whole race. At one point the kids disappeared and all the parents lined up where they would be coming out to cheer them on. Soon the leaders were seen trickling in, then a larger pack of kids. My nerves were picking up as more kids came running by but none of them were my daughter. Then I could spot her, rounding the corner. She had the HUGEST smile on her face and was trucking along. The feeling of pride I felt was indescribable. Then she passed me and turned a corner, once again to run a section of the race unseen. I hurried over to the finish line where most of the other parents were already stationed yelling for the runners as they crossed the end. Once again there was a long wait until my sweet girl came running out of the trees. She was tired, her face was red and there was sweat dripping off of her but she was still plugging away. By the time she crossed the finish line, not in last place (WooHoo), most of the cheering crowd had already headed off with their runners so there were few to welcome her at the end but the impact of watching her cross that finished line made a huge impact.

I had an ahh-ha moment, a moment of really taking in what my daughter had accomplished! She was breaking the mold. She was reaching out and doing something that would and can change her lifestyle for a healthier one. The thought crossed my mind, as I watched her, I can support her and follow her lead and help insure that she takes better care of her body than I have or I can continue to sit on my rear, eating junk, not being active and I can bet sooner or later she'd give up and do the same thing. Right then I knew what I had to do.

As we made the long walk back to the car, with my arm around her shoulders, I let her know how proud of her I was. Then I teared up and told her she was my hero, my example and if she could push herself out of her comfort zone and do what she was doing I could too.

So today was my first day of acting on that commitment I got on my treadmill and walked the 2000 meters that my daughter runs for her meets. I was slow, took me a full 30 minutes, but I DID it and I WILL do it everyday. Thanks to a wonderful 11-year-old who broke out of her comfort zone and pushed herself.

Biggest Loser 2nd Chances...and 3rd...and 4th...ETC...

I just finished watching the season opener of Season 8 Biggest Loser. WOW!!! It grabbed me, pulled me in and hasn't let go yet. I was crying, evaluating, discouraged and motivated! They're naming the season 2nd Chances. I've had that many and more. How many more are waiting for me before I'll be like Tracy? I really hope she does come back but at some point there are NOT any more chances. When will I have my last chance?

I've been missing in action. I'd just like to give a HUGE thanks to those who have still reached out. I know to receive support I too need to give it.

The title of my blog is Overhauling-Me! Besides getting in shape there are many other areas in my life that need to be overhauled. Organization, finances, marriage, kids, health issues, etc... For several months I haven't been working on my weight but I have been working on many of the other areas. It's been a long haul,I feel I've made improvements but there is still a long way to go in every category and it is so exhausting. I need to learn to take things a little at a time to keep from burning out so that I can keep making the changes no matter how slowly.

Focusing on a healthy me needs to be a priority. How am I going to get going? I'm not sure. I haven't made a game plan. There is always the basic one...eat less, move more. Those four simple words is really the key to losing weight, getting healthy and keeping it off.

I'm thankful for this opportunity to have yet again another wake up call and another chance.

Committing Out Loud!

After taking several weeks off, to be honest I'm not sure how long it's been, I'm ready to get going. I haven't weighed myself for awhile and will get on the scale tomorrow morning. I'm assuming the numbers will be close to me starting weight but I'm hoping I haven't gained it all back.

Life has been crazy. Well, life is always crazy with 7 kids but it's been crazier than normal. Part of it is due to the economy and how it effects my husband's job and then that trickles down to other worries and concerns. Unfortunately I'm the type of person that EATS when things get tough. I want to be the kind that thirsts for exercise to relieve stress.

We received our tax refund. My husband and I decided that our health needs to come first so we purchased a treadmill. It's set up in our garage waiting for me to get on it. I'm waking up at 5am to do 30min. I have my clothes, shoes and ipod set out. I wanted to commit out loud so I'll feel more accountable.

I'll have to make my rounds to check on my weight loss blog buddies. I hope everyone has met with more success than I have. For those of you on the A-team KEEP ON GOING!!! I've missed too many weigh-ins but I'm hoping to do BLBE #3 if one is started again.

The Numbers Are In

I've been waiting to find out about my cholesterol. I've never had it checked before but had it done at my doctor's appointment on Friday. With my blood pressure higher than normal I've been anticipating a problem with my cholesterol numbers. I was right.

Here they are:
Cholesterol 194
Triglycerides 62
HDL 51
LDL 131 ( with a doctor's note Borderline High)

Also written on the letter I received was, "The goal of your LDL is below 130. A strict low fat diet and exercise regimen should be maintained."

To be honest I don't really understand the numbers or what they mean. I guess to head towards a healthier me I need to know more about health. I'm going to go google the four items above.

Facing It and Beginning...AGAIN!

I'm ready to face, once again, the fact that I'm morbidly obese and HAVE to do something about it!

I was feeling discouraged, actually I still am, but I know I have to take action. I know my choices will either get me healthier or make me a little closer to an early earthly departure. I HAVE to do something and I HAVE to begin NOW!

Is my heart 100% in it? NO! Am I 100% completely motivated? NO! Do I WANT the end results? Whole Heartily, YES!!! So that's what I'm grasping onto, the results I envision.

Today is Dr. Seuss Day. My kids' school was doing a read-in along with "Donuts for Dads and Muffins for Moms" My 5th grader said, "Mom, are you going to have a muffin?" I told her no. She said, "Oh, are you back on your diet?" I actually told her that the doctor gave me three months to lose weight and that I needed to do it. I decided to just tell it like it is, I need their help, encouragement and understanding.

It was great to load up all my little ones plus our extra daycare cutie and walk to the school with the kids. It felt wonderful after being down for so long with my stupid leg. It's not quite 10 a.m. yet and I already have 5000 of my steps in.

I worry about the end, about reaching goal and keeping it off. But I can't let that hold me back I've got to take this one day at a time, probably like one minute at a time.

Thanks for the positive words of support and encouragement! It was so what I needed!

I'm changing my weigh-in days to Tuesdays. Just an FYI. After being down for so long and not weighing in last week I'm sure the numbers won't be great tomorrow. But I have to acknowledge the reality to move forward.

I Want to Crawl into a Hole!

I really do!!!! But hiding from the facts is what got me to where I am.

After being down with my blood clot for two weeks I've been anxious to get moving again. I was starting to feel better and knew I could get up and start with some walking. Things were looking up and then a couple of bombs fell.

Bomb #1: On Thursday night my husband received a phone call from his doctor with results from blood work. DIABETES! His fasting count was 233. YIKES!!! He's devestated, kids cried, and the realization that changes for the whole family is needed was brought closer to home.

We went in yesterday to see his doctor so he can get started on some medicine. While we were there I actually found a magazine article about diabetes and it had a great statement that went something like this: Genetics has loaded the cannonball and lifestyle is the fuse.

It's so true! My husband has diabetes in his genetics, his mom and grandmother have it (although they were almost 20 years older than him when it first showed up). My husbands lifestyle (being obese) is what lite the fuse, made the diabetes fire off much earlier than needed. It makes me realize that my children have the cannonball loaded as well and it's my job to teach them how to avoid lighting the fuse.

Bomb #2: I had my long awaited physical yesterday. I've been very happy with my doctor because he is pro-active. He asked me how many things I've tried to lose weight. I laughed and told him you name it I've done it. (Earlier he asked; do you smoke, drink caffeine, alcohol, drugs, etc. When all of my answers were no. He said, wow, you don't have any bad habits. No, just FOOD) After all the poking and proding was done he sat me down and said he was very concerned with my weight and my blood pressure. My blood pressure is normally around 112/68 but consistently for the last two months my bottom number has been in the 80's, NOT GOOD! All of a sudden I started hearing things like stomach stapling, gastric bypass and I felt my heart drop and my appointment took a serious turn.

Doc said, I'm not a proponent for these UNLESS everything else more conventional has been tried and hasn't worked. He said that if I stay morbidly obese that it will do more damage to my body bringing on things that can put my life at risk. As we were finishing the appointment he said, I'll give you three months to see what you can do about getting your weight out of the seriously obese range and into just obese.

I told my sister that having my husband diagnosed with diabetes and my doctor mentioning gastric bypass surgery is a definite wake up call. Not a wake up call, she said, you've been hit on the head with a big bat.

My doctor gave me the goal of 288 by my next appointment, May 29th. I didn't weigh in this week but it's probably a 25lbs goal. If I stay focused and have no more health set backs it's doable.

I'm scared! I'm nervous! I'm mad at myself! I'm disgusted! I know that I can get weight off, I always have, BUT (and this is a HUGE BUT) I have NEVER reached my goal and I have NEVER kept my weight off. I've always put it all back on plus five or so pounds.

These two bombs are adding A LOT of stress in an already very stressed household. How do I handle stress? I EAT!!! I want to be able to crawl away somewhere, ignore the diagnosis my husband and I received, and keep enjoying my wonderful stress-relieving food. But the only place that will get us both is an EARLY GRAVE!

I can do this, we can do this. It's going to take some deep breathing, new recipes, a rescheduling of daily routine to fit in exercise, patience, hard work and even some tears. I can feel the seriousness of this gripping tightly around me in fear and fright. This time has to count, I have to lose, I have to keep it off. I have to do it not just to have a better life but to have A LIFE!

This Isn't What I Planned!

I was on FIRE! Right after Christmas I was so ready to get healthy. Motivated, Determined, Un-stoppable were words I would have used to describe me back then.

Somehow that fire was diminished and I struggled for two weeks. My wonderful husband and I went to the beach for a few days the week before Valentine's Day. It was a wonderful time to talk about goals and self-reflection. I was ready to get back in the groove on Monday, February 9th. I did weigh in that morning and was down 1.4lbs. WooHoo! Then a nagging, familiar pain developed in my right calf.

I knew immediately what the pain meant. BLOOD CLOTS, two of them. Thankfully they were superficial, not the traveling kind. I was so frustrated because I knew this was going to slow me down. (this is my 6th time getting them) At my doctor's I was told to take it easy, elevate my leg a lot and not use my computer (I so need a laptop!) and for sure, NO EXERCISING!

I went back in this past Monday. One clot was gone the other one was worse. He said I really needed to take care of it. My doc said NO computer job and NO daycare kids. When I reminded him I have 7 kids he was concerned about how I was going to take care of myslef. No problem, I said, I have two great sisters and a wonderful women's organization at church that are always there when someone's in need.

I'll be meeting with a vascular specialist and will probably have to have my veins stripped or something. This health overhaul is going deeper than I expected.

Staying down and not working out is not helping me eat healthy. What is it about wanting junk food when you're being lazy? I watched Diet Tribe and in the last episode Morgan broke her arm serious enough to require surgery, plates, and pins. She was concerned about weighing in since she hadn't been active for two weeks. She stuck to her healthy eating and amazingly she still lost 7lbs in those two weeks. WOW!

I need to wrap my mind around needing to eating healthy even I'm on the couch most of the day.

Weekly Results - Week Six

Okay, at least I'm heading back in the right direction! This week's total was a loss of 1.4lbs. YEAH! It's just so motivating to see a loss!

Starting Weight - 320.2
1st week(1/5/09)- 316
2nd week(1/12/09)- 312.8
3rd week(1/19/09)- 307
4th week(1/26/09)- 309.8
5th week(2/2/09) - 313
6th week(2/9/09) - 311.6

I'm still not where I was at the end of week three but I'll get there, maybe even next week!

The director at my son's preschool is quite heavy like me. She's trying to lose weight as well. Last week she asked me, "So how's the walking?" I told her, "Don't even ask!!! But I have come to the realization that I have two directions I can head. #1 to a healthy, fit life OR #2 an unhealthy, painful life. I know I have to make a choice which way I want to go and then I have to do the required steps to get me there."

It's just like a trip. I've dreamed of going to exotic places but dreaming about it won't get me there. I have to plan it, save money for it, get passport, etc... Fantasizing about my healthy body won't make it happen but it will help me keep the end goal in sight. Without the goal, the path, the road, there's no where to head.

(p.s. I have been to two great destinations Nuevo Vallarta, Mexico and Switzerland. My wonderful hubby earned the trips at work. It was a lot of hard work to earn it both on his part and mine but OH, so worth it. I know that getting to my goal weight will be hard but OH, SO WORTH IT!)

Weekly Results - Week Five

My weigh-ins are on Monday. Obviously since I've dragged my feet with posting about the results they are nothing to shout about. My weigh in this week is a direct reflection of what I've done, nothing!!! I gained again this week, this time A LOT!!! I'm up 3.2 lbs. Here are my results since starting:

Starting Weight - 320.2
1st week(1/5/09)- 316
2nd week(1/12/09)- 312.8
3rd week(1/19/09)- 307
4th week(1/26/09)- 309.8
5th week(2/2/09) - 313

I'm heading in the wrong direction! For two weeks in a row I've put on weight. I've allowed life to bring back my old habits because those old habits are comfortable to me. When life got stressful (which it has been daily for me lately) I reached out for comfort and the comfort was found in reading (to much sitting time and no getting steps in), drifting away in the smooth, wonderful taste of chocolate, drinking doubles of my wonderful Hot Cocoa, and making my life easier with drive-thrus instead of homemade meals.

Somehow, somewhere I've got to change my mindset again. I've GOT to find the desire, motivation and drive to make the changes I need to REALLY get healthy. I can't keep slipping, I can't keep living my old habits they're killing me!!!

Heart Healthy -Please read to the end (long)

Yesterday I had an echocardiogram as a follow-up to one of my doctor's appointments. One of my first appointments (along with my last pregnancy) a murmur was detected. I'm not super worried about it but I am thankful for a proactive doctor who is helping me get healthy!


An echocardiogram is an ultrasound of the heart. VERY INTERESTING! I've had A LOT of ultrasounds of my uterus and can tell exactly what things are down there but had no clue of what I was seeing of my heart. The technician would say, "As you can tell these are the four chambers of your heart" or "You probably already knew this is a valve" Uh, NO! Very cool. I almost asked her if I got a picture of my ultrasound like they've sent home with me from my pregnancy ultrasounds.

As I am trying to get healthy and as I age I'm realizing more and more how important my heart is to keep me going. It was fascinating to watch it move and pump away and to realize that is going on inside me and that it is working in unison with many other organs.

Below is an e-mail that was forwarded to me two days ago. PLEASE stop and take the time to read it, especially if you are a woman!!!! We HAVE to take care of ourselves!

FEMALE HEART ATTACKS

I was aware that female heart attacks are different, but this is the
best description I've ever read.

Women and heart attacks (Myocardial infraction).

Did you know that women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that
men have when experiencing heart attack .... you know, the sudden
stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest &
dropping to the floor that we see in the movies.

Here is the true story of one woman's personal experience with a heart
attack.

'I had a heart attack at about 10 :30 PM with NO prior exertion, NO
prior emotional trauma that one would suspect might have brought it
on.

I was sitting all snugly & warm on a cold evening, with my purring cat
in my lap, reading an interesting story my friend had sent me, and
actually thinking, 'A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and warm in my
soft, cushy Lazy Boy recliner with my feet propped up.

A moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion, when
you've been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it
down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like
you've swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion
and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn't have gulped it
down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink
a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was
my initial sensation--- the only trouble was that I hadn't taken a bite
of anything since about 5:00 p.m.

After it seemed to subside, the next sensation was like little
squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight, it
was probably my aorta spasming), gaining speed as they continued
racing up and under my sternum (breast bone,where one presses
rhythmically when administering CPR).

This fascinating process continued on into my throat and branched out
into both jaws. 'AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling about what was happening
-- we all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one o f
the signals of an M I happening, haven't we? I said aloud to myself
and the cat, Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!

I lowered the footrest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a
step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, If this is a
heart attack, I shouldn't be walking into the next room where the
phone is or anywhere else ... but, on the other hand, if I don't,
nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not
be able to get up in moment.

I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the
next room and dialed the Paramedics ... I told her I thought I was
having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum
and radiating into my jaws. I didn't feel hysterical or afraid, just
stating the facts. She said she was sending the Paramedics over
immediately, asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to
unbolt the door and then lie down on the floor where they could see me
when they came in.

I unlocked the door and then laid down on the floor as instructed and
lost consciousness, as I don't remember the medics coming in, their
examination, lifting me onto a gurney or getting me into their
ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude ER on the way,
but I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the Cardiologist
was already there in his surgical blues and cap, helping the medics
pull my stretcher out of the ambulance. He was bending over me asking
questions (probably something like 'Have you taken any medications? ')
but I couldn't make my mind interpret what he was saying, or form an
answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the Cardiologist
and partner had already threaded the teeny angiogram balloon up my
femoral artery into the Aorta and into my heart where they installed 2
side by side Stents to hold open my right coronary artery. 'I know it
sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have taken at
least 20-30 minutes befor e calling the Paramedics, but actually it
took perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station
and St. Jude are only minutes away from my home, and my Cardiologist
was already to go to the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting
my heart (which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and the
procedure) and installing the stents.

'Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I
want all of you who are so important in my life to know what I
learned first hand.'

1. Be aware that something very different is happening in your body
not the usual men's symptoms but inexplicable things happening (until
my sternum and jaws got into the act). It is said that many more
women than men die of their first (and last) M I because they didn't
know they were having one and commonly mistake it as indigestion, take
some Maalox or other anti-heartburn preparation and go to bed, hoping
they'll feel better in the morning when they wake up ... which doesn't
happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like
mine, so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is
unpleasantly happening that you've not felt before. It is better to
have a 'false alarm' visitation than to risk your life guessing what
it might be!

2. Note that I said 'Call the Paramedics .' And if you can take an
asprin. Ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! Do NOT try to drive yourself
to the ER you are a hazard to others on the road. Do NOT have your
panicked husband who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what's
happening with you instead of the road. Do NOT call your doctor -- he
doesn't know where you live and if it's at night you won't reach him
anyway, and if it's daytime, his assistants (or answering service)
will tell you to call the Paramedics. He doesn't carry the equipment
in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics do, principally
OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr.will be notified later.

3. Don't assume it couldn't be a heart attack because you have a
normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that a cholesterol
elevated reading is rarely the cause of an M I (unless it's
unbelievably high and/or accompanied by high blood pressure).M I's
are usually caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body,
which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to sludge
things up in there. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep.
Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we
could survive.

Weekly Results - Week Four

I can't believe this was my fourth weigh in (3rd for BLBE#2). Time is going by fast. Time is going to go by whether I do something about my health or not. I make that choice.

Well, I didn't make good choices the end of the week. From my last post most of you know I was having a day of struggle. I DID put my workout shoes on and I DID get my steps all in but I also DID cave to my cravings later on. I bought a fluff book, a bag of chocolate and vegged. Friday and Saturday I didn't walk, could have made better food choices and ended up spending most of the day holding my feverish 13 month old. I could use that as an excuse but it really isn't one. Since she was sick she actually took longer naps than normal so there was plenty of time to put a workout DVD in. So what was my weigh in this morning? I gained 2.8lbs. So here are what my results look like this far in my healthy living:

Starting Weight - 320.2
1st week(1/5/09)- 316
2nd week(1/12/09)- 312.8
3rd week(1/19/09)- 307
4th week(1/26/09)- 309.8

I could blame my sick kids, or I could blame that Aunt Flo is coming tomorrow, or I could blame being backed up. But really the blame goes to ME for not sticking with my game plan. I've got to put it into gear this week!

I Want to Eat EVERYTHING in the House!

I knew it would come. The day when I lost motivation and caved in to my old ways.

Okay, I haven't caved in yet but it's pulling me. Life has hit me hard for the past two day and my old reaction would be to grab a large bag of chocolate, a good book, and plop myself down for the day and read, ignoring everything else. Kids? House? What are those?

I just finished a huge obligation and now all I want to do is watch Biggest Loser (life was to busy to watch it yesterday) and EAT. Yes, that was the old me. I always watched Biggest Loser and ATE. This season I've been walking as I watch it.

I'm going to go pull on my shoes and walk away. I just hope by doing so and watching the inspirational show that the desire to binge goes away.

Weekly Results - Week THREE!

Okay, so I've been doing this for three weeks now and have had amazing results! My original plan was to lose 3lbs a week to be able to lose 10% of my body weight by my birthday. All of my hard work and dedication is paying off, I'm ahead of plan!

This week's loss was 5.8 pounds I can't even believe it!!!! Yes, things have been going smoothly with my plan, the weight is coming off and most of it is probably water weight since I have SOoooo much to lose. But HEY, I'm working on it, I'm not letting anything get in my way, and it is coming off.

So my stats so far:

Starting Weight - 320.2
1st week(1/5/09)- 316
2nd week(1/12/09)- 312.8
3rd week(1/19/09)- 307

Right now I'm still just walking, getting 10,000 or more steps in 6 days a week and watching my calories. I know it's going to get tougher, I know the plateaus are going to come but for now I'm CELEBRATING and ENJOYING seeing quick results!

Enjoying LIFE!

I want to thank the bloggers who have stopped by and taken the time to read my posts and comment. I read each and every one and they DO touch me and help me stay focused and motivated. THANKS!

Rebecca, from FAT FITNESS FOOD (sorry I can't connect you directly to her site my computer is being weird!)made a comment on my blog that has made me stop and think. She mentioned she was glad I was taking the time to enjoy life and that chocolate is definitely one of life's pleasures. I TOTALLY AGREE!

Her comment just reiterated thoughts that I've been having this past weekend. I've been on many DIETS and only once before did what I thought was a healthy lifestyle change in pursuit of lessening the amount of me. For sure diets DON'T WORK. My other attempt at a healthy lifestyle was a very low carb, high protein diet. The plan has you go into ketosis and stay there which helps curb the cravings.

It worked!!! I lost 70lbs in 3.5 months. I NEVER during that time caved to eating sugary junk food although I did eat off plan but very rarely. The problem with the plan was it wasn't a reasonable way to eat for the rest of my life. In fact when I went off of the diet for a week on a vacation weight quickly came back on and in just a few months I found myself back up to my original weight plus some.

During that weight loss attempt my kids literally cried when I wasn't eating a cheesecake I'd prepared for my family. They knew I love cheesecake. I was touched by their tears but it was a teaching moment for me. I let my kids know that it isn't the food that makes an event or occasion special it's the people you are with. I'm striving to follow that advice in this new and final plan of healthy living.

I don't think goodies, whether sugary, salty or carb filled, need to be caved into whenever they are served. But I also don't think they need to be avoided for the rest of our lives. Since I don't plan on giving that stuff up forever I am incorporating it into my healthy living.

I think, no, I know I've used food in the past to avoid life, to avoid feelings and to avoid living up to my potential. I'm done with that lifestyle. But there is some wonderful food to enjoy it just shouldn't be enjoyed daily or even weekly. There will be times that I stop and enjoy some of life's delicacies but my healthy living is going to allow me to really and truly ENJOY LIFE!

Mom Knows Best

Today was busy! Basketball tournament for one son over an hour away, basketball practice for another son, church activity for three more which left two kids at home, the oldest and youngest. My husband went to the tournament leaving me responsible on the home front. Since four of my kids were busy at the same time I decided to take that opportunity to get some exercise in. I called up my sister, we parked in the parking lot where the basketball practice was going on and walked for a whole hour. I've got to say it just about killed me!! Baby Sis was very patient with me and stayed at my pace. I was thrilled to see my pedometer read 8,000 steps and it was only 11am.

After more busy, crazy stuff at home I needed to run to the mall. I very rarely go there and it was pretty pathetic when my four year old son said, Wow, I've never been here before. After getting our errands done we stopped off at a Gourmet Chocolate store inside the mall. I know, WHAT WAS I DOING WALKING INTO A DEN OF TEMPTATION! I felt STRONG and knew I would be okay. I let my son pick out one thing and my daughter as well. As I stood there I thought about my mom. She's a wonderful example of healthy living and fitness. At 57, right after my dad died, she road her bike across the United States starting in California and ending up in Florida. When I say bike I mean the kind maneuvered by man power not motor.

Looking at all that chocolate reminded me of how my mom does not really eat M&M's, Snickers etc...If she's going to have chocolate she gets the good stuff but she'll by only one of something, like one chocolate truffle and really enjoy it. I decided I've had some great results and treated myself to a small (about 3/4" square) sugar-free chocolate covered caramel. It was SOoo good and the perfect choice. The caramel was so chewy it took me awhile to eat that one little piece. I felt satisfied with one little piece.

Where it comes to health, fitness and making great life choices my mom DEFINITELY knows best. If I just follow her lead I'll reach my healthy goals and will have a very rich, full life. Just wish I followed the lead sooner! Thanks MOM!

Follow-Up at My Doctor's

I've been anxiously waiting for this day for the past two weeks. Normally going to the doctor's is a dreading thing for me.

I was looking forward to getting the results of my tests and getting on his scale.

According to the doctor's scale I've lost 9lbs in the past two weeks! Yeah! His scale does weigh me at a different weight than mine so now I'm wondering what MY scale will read come Monday.

All of my tests were great! EKG, X-ray all normal. My thyroid is back to normal as well. My doctor was very impressed with my 9lb weight loss and asked me how I was doing it. I told him I'm striving for 1800+ calories a day and walking at least 10,000 steps.

I'm still going in for a complete physical the end of February, I've never had my cholesterol checked. He wants to do an Eco-cardiogram to check out the heart murmur he heard (First time I heard I had one was a year and a half ago when I was pregnant with #7) and I get to do my very first Mammogram! Yippee! NOT!!!

My new doctor is so awesome and extremely proactive! I did have one complaint though. His nurse realized in all the years I've been going to the clinic I've never had a height check done. She measured me at 5'10", uh, I DON"T THINK SO! I've been 5'11.5" (6 feet is much easier to say) since puberty. There's NO WAY I've shrunk two inches! I'm not THAT old! I think the problem was she was only about 5'3" so she really couldn't reach high enough to level the height chart out.

The best thing was as my Doc finished up the appointment and was getting ready to leave he said, "We'll see you in February. It will be great to see what the results from your hard work will be then." Great incentive to set a little "MINI" goal!

Temptation Delivered To My Door!

I've been doing great with avoiding foods that tempt me. The number one evil is CHOCOLATE! At the stores I avoid the aisles that used to have me as a frequent visitor. For little snacks for my kids I get them things that I really could care less about.

So, why did I get an unexpected temptation delivered RIGHT TO MY DOOR?!?!? My daughter plays lacrosse and it is a club sport within the high school. Since it is a club sport it costs more to play. Most of the families really don't have an extra $300 sitting around to have their kids play so we've decided to do a/some fundraisers. I somehow got elected to head that project. I made some calls and found a fundraising company that has tons of different products to chose from. They promised to send my some brochures to look over so we could make our decision.

I was expecting a manila envelope in my mailbox but NO it was a BOX delivered by the U.P.S guy. It was like Christmas at my house. All my kiddos gathered around to see what this mystery box contained. As I opened the flaps there were the brochures tucked underneath 20 pieces of gourmet chocolate!!!! My heart started pounding and my taste buds began to salivate, I knew I was in trouble and needed to quickly get rid of them. I gave each child three pieces and went over to my hubby's office to get rid of the rest. Since the brochures were not appealing to my kids they all left to go back to what they were doing while I perused the fliers. I took them one at a time out of the box, glanced through it and then put it aside as I reached for the next one. This process continued until I reached for the last one and found the HUGEST shock possible for a choc-a-holic, MORE CHOCOLATE. Not only was there MORE CHOCOLATE at the bottom of the box but it was my favorite kind. A HUGE, THICK chocolate candy bar with ALMONDS!!!! OH, MY! I must have screamed out loud because soon all of my kids came running back to see what was going on. They were thrilled to find several similar candy bars as well as a few long beef jerky sticks at the bottom of the box.

I'm proud to be able to say I didn't eat a single candy bar, piece of chocolate or beef jerky. We may have to go with one of their non-food items like flower bulbs or gift wrap. I don't want any of the goodies in MY HOUSE!

Just MOVE!

I've always been a sedentary person. I LOVE to read, love to be on the computer and pretty much everything else I LOVE to do is done sitting down. I know the key for me to get healthy and drop some pounds is just to get this body moving. It's hard to change old habits but I'm trying.

Lately my life has been too busy to watch TV. We recently got a DVR and I LOVE it! The few shows I enjoy watching are now being taped for me to watch the next day. I've been watching my favorite shows by walking with them. I walk in place, walk forward and back, raise my knees high, step side to side (and squat while doing it you can really feel your thigh muscles being used!), do kicks to the front, kicks to the back and then just walk in place some more. I usually get 40minutes in and at least 5,000 steps!!!

Today I made a huge change. On Wednesdays there is a group of moms that get together for a play group. We go sometimes but each time I've gone I've noticed the moms just sit on the side visiting while the kids run around the gym. Of course that looked like fun so I joined in with the...SITTING! I thought today as I was getting five kids ready to go, "Why am I sitting on the side for an hour while my kids play?" I committed to NOT sitting down while I was there and just play and follow my kids around. Oh, My Goodness I got TONS of steps in!!!

As I get ready to head to bed my pedometer reads almost 12,000 steps!!! My calorie numbers are GREAT (this time the fat could be a little bit lower). It's been a great day!! And best of all I got to dance around the gym with my baby as we sang to the song "Number Rumba". I LOVE what a different mentality is allowing me to do!

Those DANG Carbs!

I keep getting too many of them! Normally when I think of a "diet" I think of low calories and high protein low carb. I've tried that before. Had great results and then they all came back plus more.

I bought a book by Jillian Michaels, "Making the Cut". I was looking for something inspirational to read. Turns out the book is geared for those who have the last 20 or less pounds to lose. UH, Definitely NOT me! My mom borrowed it and by just incorporating the eating ideas and continuing her own workouts has lost 6lbs in about 10days. So, what does that have to do with CARBS?!?

Well, in Jillian's book she has you take a test to see if you're an A, B, or C and she tells you how much carbs, proteins and fat you need to take in based on which letter you are. Turns out my mom is an A and I'm a B. I'm suppose to have 40% Carbs, 40% Proteins and 20% Fat.

So armed with that info I went into Spark People and adjusted my calories (higher, very scary. According to Jillian I should be eating 2100 calories a day. I just don't know if I'd lose weight with that many so I put the range for 1600 - 2100) and all of my other numbers.

I'm having a REALLY HARD time getting all of my calories in and at the same time keep my carbs down. When I eat more calories my carbs end up being over the allotted HIGH number. When I keep my carbs in range my calories are way too low.

I guess I'll have to get creative and find some new foods.

Weekly Results - Week Two

I would say I had a good week two of my healthy journey. I'm not calling it great because I had a couple of days that I ate off plan. Last night was awful, I was craving carbs!! It's a good thing there was no chocolate in the house or I might have eaten it all.

I got on the scale this a.m. and am down 3.2lbs. YAY ME! I had to buy a new scale over the weekend and it weighs 2lbs heavier than my other one. My original starting weight on my old scale was 318.2. This morning I weighed on both scales. The old one read 310.9 and the new one 312.8. Since I'm going by the new scale I am changing my starting weight to 320. 2

I know, no big deal but I'm a numbers gal and need it all straight and accounted for in my head and on my paper. So,

Starting Weight - 320.2
1st week(1/5/09)- 316
2nd week(1/12/09)- 312.8

I'm also tracking measurements every other week. I've lost 3.5 inches! Not a lot but a half an inch here and there add up. I have the goal of 32lbs gone (10% of my body weight) by my birthday. I figured I need to lose 3lbs a week. With a total of 7.4lbs gone I'm right on target to reach my goal.

After I get an okay with my doctor (hopefully this Friday) I plan on kicking it up a notch!

Stick to your task.

Today was a wonderful day!

Sunday, the Sabbath, is an integral part of my life and a day I look forward to. It's my day of rest from exercise and other things of the world. It's a day I go to church, remember my Savior and learn more about His teachings, a day to spend with my family and re-fill my bucket.

In my church members of the congregation give the talks. Today the husband and wife that spoke are personal trainers. She is about 6'1" and gorgeously fit! With it being the new year their topic was setting resolutions. Of course since they were speaking at church it was more religiously based but they tied in examples of being physically fit. I felt I was touched not only spiritually at church but at the same time was given a little pep talk about sticking to my goals. They shared many wonderful quotes, this is one that stuck in my mind:

"Stick to your task ’til it sticks to you;
Beginners are many, but enders are few.
Honor, power, place and praise
Will always come to the one who stays. Stick to your task ’til it sticks to you;
Bend at it, sweat at it, smile at it, too;
For out of the bend and the sweat and the smile
Will come life’s victories after a while."
—Author Unknown

Fitting in a healthy life with my crazy one

Today my 12yr. old son had a basketball tournament. Two games 30 minutes away. With Saturdays already being a crazy day at our house I knew it would be difficult to get my steps in.

I wore my sweats and tennis shoes to the games and of course had my pedometer attached, and brought my ipod. There was some down time before the games began so I planned on walking where ever I could. This school had a wonderful path that wrapped around the middle school, high school and through the neighborhood. I walked it for 30minutes. I didn't want to stop but knew I needed to get inside to watch my son play. It felt so good coming prepared and following through!

After the last game others went to Burgerville for dinner. I went along but only ordered a side salad. It was nice to visit with others without feeling I had to chow down on their burgers, fries, and shakes.

I feel things are going pretty good. I had to buy a new scale because my other one was giving me weird readouts. The frustrating thing is the new scale weighs me two pounds heavier. Workouts are going good. I need to make sure I get them done in the morning so I don't have things hanging over my head. And although I'm staying within my calorie range there are still some healthier choices I could be making. I am getting my four veggies in though. Today I had mushrooms, bell pepper, zucchini and then all the salad stuff.

It's been a great week and I'm looking forward to weighing in on Monday (especially since Aunt Flo left today!!!)

Changes in such a small time.

I was watching Diet Tribe this morning. First of all I have never heard of the show and my sister mentioned it to me after the Season Premiere. I was a little bummed to have missed the opening but made a mental note to watch the show each week. Late last night Nat text me to let me know the season premiere was being shown again today.

I enjoyed it. Not as much as Biggest Loser but it's another show to learn from and receive inspiration as I make this journey.

There were two main statements that stuck out to me. When Shawna said. towards the end, the diet doesn't work, the workouts don't work I was struck with how little personal accountability she was taking. It made me realize I'm making a healthy change and it DOES work as long as I put all MY EFFORT into it.

It saddened me to hear of the struggles that Morgan has had with weight almost her whole life, I situation is very similar. She asked the question to herself, why am I doing this, why can't I just be happy with who I am and the body I have. I immediately thought because it's NOT HEALTHY! Should a person with a disease just be happy with who they are without getting help? What about a person that needs glasses, should they say,that's who I am I'm not going to do anything about it. NO, we would immediately counsel someone to get the help they needed. Being obese is uncomfortable, it's ugly but more importantly it's UNHEALTHY!!!

Why should I be happy with myself overindulging at McDonald's. Why should I be pleased with myself for sitting on the couch and not getting any activity in? I. LIKE. ME, I'm a very nice, caring person. I work hard for my family and friends. I'm smart, resourceful and trustworthy. These are qualities of me. These are things I can be proud of! But I will NOT go one more day being content with the rolls of skin, stretch marks (except the ones from my babies. Those are a badge of honor!), thighs twice as big as they should be and hips that won't fit in an airplane seat. My choices brought me the body that I have and through changing my choices I can AND WILL change it.

Today is day 12 of my healthy living and I already feel a change:
*I don't dread going upstairs. Before I used to go only to put my little ones down for nap or bed. Now I go up all the time, I've probably made that trip 8 times already today.
*I'm drinking water!!!! I could go weeks without any glasses of water before. It feels refreshing.
*My legs are getting stronger. I can feel the muscles slowly trying to emerge from the layers of fat surrounding them.
*I'm PLAYING with MY KIDS! I don't remember the last time I took my kids to the park so much and it's even winter time!
*I have TONS more energy. Everyday I used to take a nap when I put the little ones down. Now that's down to zero!
*I'm eating yummy, colorful and creative food. I actually get excited when I sit down to a meal. It looks GORGEOUS!
*I've lost four pounds.
*I'm setting an example for my family. Hubby went to the store last night and when he came home he said, "I didn't buy any ice cream" That's HUGE for him. YAY, sweetie!

When I get on the scale on Monday there might not be any drastic change in the numbers but my above list will remind me, it's not all about the scale. This is a lifestyle change and boy, do I love the changes!!!!

Need some better planning.

As I was getting ready to read in bed for awhile before going to sleep, I stopped to input all the food I've eaten today into Spark People. I was at least 600 calories short and I hadn't reached any of my numbers for fat, protein or carb either. I actually went in and made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a glass of milk, enjoyed it while I watched a show with my hubby and came and logged the numbers again.

Although the numbers are closer I still didn't make it in range for my calories or fat. This has happened to me several times and then I debate whether I should go to bed and forget about getting enough calories in or eat something regardless of the time.

I have tried so many diets and to be honest with you eating at the calorie level they say I should scares me. I'm afraid by consumming the minimum of 1600 calories suggested it won't allow me to lose weight. I read one of the Biggest Loser books and they said, for my weight, I should be eating 2100 calories. YIKES! I'm too scared to try it.

Another thing, normally when I'm trying to lose weight I don't allow myself to eat 2-3 hours before going to bed. So, which is better? Getting in all your calories regardless of the time of day or cut off the eating a few hours before going to bed and try to do better in the calorie department the next day?

I think what I need to do is create a meal plan at least a day ahead if not a whole week ahead.

I am a HUGE Biggest Loser Fan...

In more ways than one!

What more could I ask for when I was in my slump last night than to have wonderful blogger support(thank you for all your comments!), the Premiere of Biggest Loser and the team reveal of BLBE#2!! I'm PUMPED! REJUVENATED!! MOTIVATED!!! GRATEFUL!!!!

First off, after my losing battle with the nachos and typing my previous post I sat down (with NO food) to watch my taped BL. I LOVED the very beginning! Bob and Jillian were speaking to ME (sorry to everyone else for the inconvenience you may have had while you had to listen in). Right before Bob said, put down that ice cream I was thinking I usually sit here and watch this show with food in my hand/mouth.

I'm sure, like me, the rest of you compared yourselves to the contestants being weighed in. WOW, I'm tons heavier than her, I wonder how tall she is. Oh My Gosh, I'm only 50lbs lighter than HIM?!?!?! The health facts scare and motivate me and make me thankful I'm doing something NOW. This is going to be a great season and what makes it even better is I'm not sitting on my duff wishing I could do something like them...I AM doing something!

Biggest Loser Blog Edition #2 teams were announced...YAY...Go TEAM ANGIE!!!! I'm going to try and make my rounds to "meet" all of you. It may take awhile, they are such HUGE teams! My wonderful sisters, Nat (Oh to Lose) and Baby Sis (The Third Sister) are on Lynn's team but that will make for some friendly competition! I am so appreciative to Lynn and Angie for taking on this HUGE undertaking. This will be a key component for me to stay motivated at the beginning of my weight loss journey. After the next 16 weeks of exercise and healthy eating it will be a habit a natural part of my life. At least I'm hoping by saying so and thinking so it will make it so.

I'm a STRESS eater!

Oh my gosh, HELP!!! The past 9 days I've been on a high, I've felt so upbeat, the sky was the limit. I'm realizing now that one reason it was so easy was my life was going easy. That took a turn today. Hi, my name is KiKi and I'm a STRESS eater!!!

My kids are back in school (well, five of them) You'd think that would make things easier after having them home for three weeks but, NO. School's in session which means tons of different schedules and homework. My hubby is out of town which leaves ALL the responsibility on me. I've been busy non-stop since 5:30 this morning and I'll be back doing it all at 5am tomorrow. To top it all off...Aunt Flo came to town!!!!! So now I'm dealing with whacked out hormones. ARGHHH!!! I want sugar!!! I want Carbs!!! And I want it NOW!!!!!!!!! It doesn't matter that I'm full and don't need any food, I WANT IT!

I fell apart tonight. I came home late and my kids had Taco Bell on the counter. There was a plate of half eaten Nachos. I was like a half starved lunatic the way I fell all over that food. Next I wanted to grab the cinnamon twists and anything else I could easily rip open. I knew I needed to stop, some voice in the back of my head kept telling me "You don't want this, don't mess up your goals" I threw my daughter off of the computer to frantically write this post.

I know by the time I get it out most of you will probably have already gone to bed and I won't get any responses until I wake up in the morning. But just to come here thinking of you all is helping. I can hear the words in my head that you are lovingly screaming at me. I WILL stick to my goals tonight even if that means I have to duck tape my mouth while I watch the new season of Biggest Loser I recorded.

Tomorrow is actually going to be worse so I could use some support. I don't know how I'll get my steps squeezed in but will succeed somehow.

There's a CHANGE Coming...I Can Feel It!

Families seem to take on similar traits. Not only do they look alike but have a tendency to like the same things. There are families of baseball lovers, families of the intellectual sort, families that are very active etc... Our family has a lot of likes. We like Lacrosse (quickly becoming a family sport even though we just learned about it four years ago), we love watching t.v., we love food and now? We're all getting FAT together. We're the TALL BIG family.

It's one thing to be tall but it's another to be tall and FAT. I've hated it! I must not have hated it enough because over the past 16 years I've been instilling the same bad habits into my family. My oldest daughter needs to lose about 55lbs. and daughter #2 is packing it around the middle as well. My husband and I are both extremely overweight. Our lifestyle is affecting our kids whether we want it to or not. Our inactivity and fat filled food have become part of who my family is. But NOT any longer.

It's amazing how the little switch has gone off in my and I have the desire to change. I'm grabbing hold of it and not letting go. I want to be different so badly and I know if I loosen my grip I won't only be destroying my health and future but those of my kids as well. It's only been a week now and I'm seeing my choices slowly trickle into my family.

Our meals are healthier. I'm teaching them more about their snacks and food choices, "You already ate a carb now have a protein and/or some veggies", "Put HALF of that back, that is WAY more than a serving."

I've been trying to get several different walks in throughout the day. When my youngest girls are home and I'm doing my W.A.T.P DVD they do it with me and in the evening I take them to the park to run and play while I walk the trail. We just got back a few minutes ago and it was so fun to see and hear them run and play with each other. They weren't at home arguing over the DS or what channel to watch they were outside playing, running and creating imaginative games.

Our old family mold is beginning to crack and once it's all gone we'll be the family that is TALL, Fit, healthy eaters, active and enjoying a LONG life together.

First Week Results

Although I'm not being super aggressive I'm seeing results! I'm down 4.2lbs this morning! YAY!!! Bringing my current weight at 314.

My birthday is in about 11weeks and I've set the goal to lose 32lbs (about 10% of my starting weight) by then. To make that happen I need to lose 3lbs a week. I'm on my way!

After being out of school for three weeks my kiddos are heading back today. It's about 6:40a.m. here so I need to go get my oldest out the door in 20minutes and then work on the staggered leavings from there. Oh, and I already got my W.A.T.P. tape done this morning!

I hope you are all having a Marvelous Monday!

Six Week Challenge

I officially started this a couple of days ago but thought it was important to really think about my program and what it is I'm committing to over the next six weeks. Since I'm just beginning my pursuit of health and have a long way to go my plan is simple. My physical at the doctor's isn't until the end of February. I thought it was the end of this month. I don't feel like I can really PUSH it until I get the okay from the doctor. Keeping moving and eating healthy should get me going in the right direction for now and help me establish healthy habits.

*EXERCISE - right now my goal is to get 10,000 steps in a day. Each day I have to do something besides my normal life to ensure that happens. Six days a week I'll do my Walk Away the Pound DVD, and go for a walk in the early evening if my numbers are low. I will up the daily step requirement every week by 250. At the end of the six weeks I should be at 11,500 steps or higher each day.

*NUTRITION - Consume between 1500 and 1800 calories each day. Eat at least 3 servings of veggies (so hard for me to get in) and two fruits and LOG every bite that goes into my mouth. I'll add my water intake here as well. I hate having to pee all the time therefore I used to never drink the stuff. Each day I'll get 8 glasses of water in. Once my body gets used to it I'll increase it to 10.

*STATS - I'm going to weigh in every Monday and take measurements every other week.

I'm excited for this challenge! I made a big calendar to keep track of my days and successes. Thanks Katschi for putting this together! I'm looking forward to getting the green light from my doctor then I'll be kicking some booty!! (Watch out BLBE#2 challengers!)

We Are Family...

I got all my SISTERS with me!

I had a large family growing up (now it's HUGE) and there were three girls. I'm thrilled that all three of us are now pursuing a healthy life and making the changes needed to get there. Today my baby sis created her first blog ever making it a Sister thing.

I'm excited to take this journey together and be there as each other's support group.

We can do this Nat and Baby Sis!

Everybody Else but NOT Me!

As a mom of 7, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a daycare provider and being a person that CAN'T say NO I've always put other people's needs, desires, wants before mine. Then to top it off, being afraid of the doctor (mostly because of the scale) I haven't taken the time to take care of me. I rarely go to the dentist and I haven't seen the eye doctor (which I need to) not because I'm afraid of their scale (there isn't any) but I'm embarrassed with my size and most chairs are starting to get tight in the hip area.

For the past year and a half I literally have felt like I am dying. I've cried to myself and not confided in anyone not even my hubby (until August) but yet I didn't go to the doctor. I let my weight get in the way. I've been having pains in the left quadrant of my chest, difficulty breathing, extreme light headedness even at times when I'm sitting down and feet that feel like they are broken which causes me to walk with a slight limp. Anyone of those reasons should have been enough to get me to the doctor but, NO. Due to my climbing weight this year and the fact that my female doctor left and I was assigned a male one I was too embarrassed to go in. I used the excuse that I was too busy.

I've had a cold/cough for the past two weeks which has turned into a sinus infection. I've done everything I could think of to cure it on my own so I wouldn't have to go in but it just won't go away. On Monday is when I started my plan, with determination, to get ME HEALTHY! On Tuesday I decided that part of getting me healthy was visiting with my doctor about my concerns and realized I could use the sinus infection to help me get myself there and use it to open the door. I called that same day hoping to get right in so I wouldn't chicken out but the soonest they had available was Friday, today.

While my mom was in town, after we walked our 5k, I told her what I've been feeling and she encouraged me to write down EVERY little thing that is ailing me so that I could make sure to mention it to the doctor.

I was nervous all day today leading up to my appointment but at the same time relieved because I knew I was taking an important step to get healthy and have my health provider on my side as I begin the process to OVERHAUL-ME!

The doctor's scale had me at 319 (higher than my starting weight on Monday). I haven't weighed yet but I'm sure my body has lost something. Each scale is just different. My blood pressure was 124/180. In the acceptable range but HIGH for me so that added to my concern. I talked to my doctor about my sinuses and thyroid (had a problem with it during my last pregnancy) then got into the nitty gritty about my chest pains, dizziness, and my pursuit to lose weight. We didn't have a lot of time to go over things because he wasn't expecting to be hit with a list of problems but he's being pro-active with me. It may have helped that I sat in his chair crying to him, "I have seven kids at home who need me. I need to be here for them. I don't want to die, I need to get healthy!"

He sent me to the lab to get my thyroid tested and said while I was there he wanted to do an EKG and an X-ray. I'm going back in two weeks to discuss the results and talk more about my symptoms and then in a month I'm going back for a complete one hour physical {I've never had one except the girly part at the O.B.) so he'll know more details about my health before advising me on my weight loss plan.

OVERHAULING-ME is my goal as I mentioned in my first blog post. I don't just want to see the numbers on the scale go down. I want to be healthy emotionally and from the inside out and make my weaknesses become strengths. It's time for me to take care of MYSELF first then I'll be around and more capable of taking care of EVERYBODY else.

A Tradition FULL of Temptation

One of our Christmas traditions is making gingerbread houses. It began when I was still at home with my mom and dad. Now that we're all married it's a tradition that has been carried on. My mom makes the gingerbread pieces and frosting and my sisters and their families gather at my home for assembly and fun!

Normally this is done right around Christmas Eve but this year my mom and her husband were stranded for the holidays so we planned it for New Year's day. We made 10 houses (plus the cute smaller home my son created from broken pieces). There is TONS of candy to chose from and it was such a huge temptation as I sat helping several of my kids. I kept getting the frosting on my fingers and made sure I had a towel right next to me to wipe them off. Just one lick would have been enough to send me crawling after the chocolate Reese's or Hershey Kisses.

After each child completes his candy laden home and yard they decide who they want to give it to. It's a real treat to go to the doors one at a time with each of my kids and deliver the sugar feast to their friends. The smiles that shine in that little kids eyes when they see what they're being given is priceless!

It was another successful year of gingerbread houses and even better because I could enjoy the people and the occasion WITHOUT the food!

I'm an ALL STAR!

My first 5k COMPLETED! WOO HOO!! YAY For ME!!! YES!!!! It's such a great feeling to have set the goal, not wimp out and actually complete it!

We met up at the track and, due to miscommunication, one of my sisters didn't make it (Sorry, Nat!) But she's determined to do it and her hubby is going to be her 5k partner (What a guy).

I knew I'd be the slowest of the group. There was my 64 yr. old mom who is in AMAZING shape, my 32 yr. old sister who also wants to lose weight, and then my Awesome 16 yr. old daughter. Everyone took off walking and after a few problems with my ipod I was able keep a steady pace. My daughter lapped me several times, my sister lapped me as well, and my mom, who knows HOW far she ended up walking because she kept walking back and forth for visits. She may have gotten a 10k in.

After only four laps I really felt like I was struggling (pathetic, I know). I was telling myself if I can't make it to the end that's okay at least I tried and I'll improve the next time. At lap five a song came on my Ipod, "All Star" by Smash Mouth. The part that stuck in my head was, "Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play. Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid...Only shooting stars break the mold" WOO HOO, I AM an All Star!! And I definitely have my game on!

Here are some more lyrics from the song that made this my 5k theme song: "It's a cool place and they say it gets colder, You're bundled up now..." It was SO wet and rainy! Some of the lanes of the track were covered in an inch of water and by the end I was struggling, not because of my breathing but my cold, worn out thigh muscles were rebelling.

My sweet daughter finished first at 48minutes and was so wonderful, she came and walked with me the rest of my way. I confided in her that when I set the goal I didn't think I'd actually be able to do it but I DID and she helped me reach that finish line! My sister finished at one hour and I hobbled in (almost literally, I didn't want to resort to crawling across the finish line but I would have if it meant finishing) at 1 hour 4 minutes and 30 seconds.


We were drenched, shivering, soaked to the bone with cold hands and soggy feet but WE DID IT! A HUGE thanks to my wonderful support system, my family, and the encouragement from the blogging community! THANKS!

We've decided we're going to do this on the first Saturday of each month. It will be great to see our progress.

A Great, Successful New Year's Eve!

For those of you waiting to hear about my 5k today it will be in another blog later. I've invited my two sisters, my mom and my 16 yr. old daughter to join me. I'm excited these important women in my life are all able to come so I readjusted the time to include everyone!

It's not a beautiful winter day here. Instead it's DUMPING down rain with aggressive wind gusts. According to my hubby it's suppose to be this way ALL day. So, since none of us have gym memberships, we'll be out on the high school track not letting Mother Nature get in our way!

New Year's Eve was awesome! My mom and her husband came in to town. I checked my pedometer after a light dinner and realized I was short 1600 steps. So at 8:00p.m. my mom came with me for a walk. I finished the day with over 11,000 steps! YAY, ME! High Five, anyone? After walking I looked at my calorie intake and realized I was short over 350 calories to stay in line with my low end goal. I made some healthy choices and got it in!!!

My mom is an extreme health nut! She's 64, 5'10" and OH, So slim!!! I don't have permission to share her weight here so let's just say she ways LESS than HALF of me. She's a great example of what I can become. I enjoyed my evening with her talking about nutrition and workouts, showing her some of the great blogs I've read here and other fun facts. She wanted to figure out her BMR, the amount of calories your body needs to consume to maintain your weight at a sedentary level. We googled this site and punched in our numbers. It was really interesting. I found out at my current weight and workout level to just maintain my weight I need to consume almost 2300 calories. So with my plan of eating 1500-1800 calories I DEFINITELY should be losing the weight.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, Everyone! I'm so glad to have the blogging community's support in this endeavor! THANKS!