Fruit, Exercise, Treadmill

This evening my 4yo brought me something.  She had it hidden behind her back.

 "Guess what I have" she said.

 "Uh, a picture?" I replied

"Nope, guess again"

"Okay, letters?" My second guess.

"YES!" she said with excitement and pulled out this piece of paper and handed it to me:

"It says, 'fruit, exercise, treadmill!  Fruit, exercise, treadmill!  You need to keep exercising like walking and running so you can get smaller like Camille (my twig skinny 12yo)."

 My 4yo is one of my biggest cheerleaders!  She comes up to me all the time and grabs my wrists and says "You don't need to lose weight here anymore" and then grabs my upper arms and says, "But you still need to work on here."
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My two older boys had a basketball tournament today.  One had to be there at 8a.m.  UGH, on a Saturday?!!! 

Sadly I'm down to one pair of jeans that fit me in my current size (24).  I do have two pairs of ugly workout pants (only to be worn at home) and one pair I wear to the gym (but NOT appropriate looking for public).  Then I have a pair of nice sweats that are two sizes too big (yes, I'm still wearing them)

So last night I stripped off my jeans and threw them in the wash with items my boys needed.  When the alarm went off this morning dh headed downstairs and moved the laundry over. Running a tad behind I went to the dryer 5 minutes before we had to leave to grab my jeans.  I couldn't feel them.  Then I started taking one thing out at a time.  Nope, still NO jeans!  UGH!  I looked in the wash and there they were, all alone, dripping wet.

What am I going to wear?!  Not my too large sweats I didn't wash them! I went to my drawer and grabbed the next size down, 22.  I pulled them on, zipped them up and then the test...will my kids let me leave the house wearing them.

I headed downstairs and asked the question: "Do these look okay or are they WAAAAY too tight?"  They all said the jeans were fine. WooHoo!  I had tried these jeans on about 10 days ago but today I'm about 5lbs heavier. I thought there was NO WAY they were going to fit.

Size 22! Feels so great! I probably won't wear them again until I lose the 5 I gained. But it's such a great feeling knowing a true size 22 is only a week or two away!  They weren't as comfortable to wear all day as I would like.

***For those interested in the basketball tournament outcome:
Each boys' team won one and lost one. Both of their losses were in OT, one by one point and the other by two.

Fat and Fatter!

Yesterday I was still in my funk,  although I was working on coming out of it.  Eating healthy was NOT on the agenda.  Since that was the case I had dh pick up hot cocoa and donuts at the store when he went to get fried chicken, jojo's, rolls and potato salad for dinner.

I have to admit, the yummy greasiness of the crispy chicken skin was DELICIOUS!  Bad, I know, but oh so good!

My two youngest had been tucked in bed and the next four were all out busy with friends and activities.  When my dh went to pick up one of the kiddos I decided to sit down with a mug of hot cocoa and a donut and watch something on TV.  As I flipped through the guide the words...Fat and Fatter caught my eye.

I didn't turn it on from the beginning so I'm not completely sure what the set up was but this is what I gathered:

There were two 20-something girls from the UK who came to Mississippi to live with some morbidly obese sisters whom, I think, all had diabetes..  During their week stay they watched their lives.  Saw the $6 all-you-can-eat buffet they regularly visited and the plates and plates of food they ate.  These sisters had diabetes. All the women on the show looked similar so I'm not sure if everyone they visited were  one of the sisters or not but...

One of the UK girls massaged a lady's feet.  Since she has diabetes her feet go numb and she needs to get circulation going.

They visited another lady at a clinic where she goes 3 days a week for four hours a time to have her blood cleansed.

The sisters took them to a cemetery where several of their loved ones were buried all dying from complications of diabetes.  One of which had nasty gangrene in her leg.  The sisters admitted that seeing their aunt in the coffin made them want to change their lives but after a little time passed they forgot all about and continued with their unhealthy lifestyle.

Struggling with their own weight (they both probably had around 100lbs to lose) this adventure had an impact on the two UK girls.  The last minute of the show caught up with them about two months after returning home.  One girl, they said, did not test positive for diabetes and had not lost any weight.  Although the girl, herself, thought she'd lost a tiny bit.  When they mentioned she hadn't tested positive for diabetes it made me wonder if she thought, "Oh, all I saw does not pertain to me since I'm not diabetic"

The second girl picked up running as soon as she got home.  They said she'd lost 16lbs in those first two months home.

As I watched this show it impacted me!  Me, who was in a funk and eating JUNK.  As I watched it I was NOT able to finish my donut, it physically made me ill.  I only consumed 1/3 of it.  This is a HUGE change for me.  In years past the old me would sit and watch The Biggest Loser every Tuesday with junk food!

What's scary is that my dh has diabetes.  He's not doing anything to change it.  His doctor has lectured him, I have pleaded, several of our kids have cried and begged him to eat healthier.  I'm not sure why he hasn't wanted to get healthier.  On Monday, as we drove to Taco Bell, I was opening up the mail.  I mistakenly opened what I thought was a bill but it was results from my husband's latest doctor's appt.  All his diabetes numbers were out of whack along with his fats and cholesterol.  What will be his turning point?  How low does he have to go before he decides to make the change?  Hopefully not as far as I saw on the show Fat and Fatter.

As for me, that show helped snap me out of my funk.  A reminder of why THIS time is going to be the time I DO get healthy.  I even called to schedule an appointment with my doctor.  Haven't been in almost 3 years.

Faking It Until I MAKE IT!

UGH, I hate feeling the way I'm feeling!  In the past decade I can point exactly to what threw me off track of my healthy journeys.  There are  two things.  1. A vacation    OR    2. A non-structured time for my kids (summer break)

This time around it's been both!  Our whirlwind trip to Boise AND then boom, Spring Break!  The two combined has thrown be in a downward spin out of control.

I've acknowledged this struggle and have received a lot of support to get over it.

Mentally I have no desire to break the downward spiral but in my soul I want it, want it badly! I decided I need to fake it until my mind,soul and body are inline with the same desire.

Today was baby steps, somewhat.  I woke up at 6:30 and did an hour on the treadmill.  6:30 isn't super early for me.  Typically to get my workouts in before my day begins I have to wake up at 4:30.  With my kids' crazy spring break schedule that is NOT happening.  The next thing I focused on was water.  When I'm not trying to be healthy I can go days, even weeks without even one oz of water.  I didn't get my normal 9 or 10 cups in but I did get 5.  That's 5 more since Sunday.

My eating has been completely off.  I told myself I wasn't going to stress about it.  Today was just workout and water. Tomorrow I'll focus on workout, water and getting 5 fruits and veggies in!

First Time in a Swimsuit This Year

It's a good thing I committed to my kids and my daycare mom that I was taking the kids to the pool today or else I WOULDN'T have done it!!!

I dug out my swimsuit, shaved off the winter growth from my legs and DID IT!

We had a great time!

The pool has various depths and activities. I kept the three youngest (4,3,1) in the one foot area with slides, dumping buckets and other fun things. I got my workout in! The one year old didn't want to walk in the water so I ended up carrying him most of the time for the first hour. His sister, the 3yo, was all OVER the place! I felt like I spent most of my time chasing her down.

Normally when I go to a pool I can hurry from the changing room and get into the pool where I can hide my largeness and fat. Well at this pool it was all out for everyone to see. Standing in one foot of water doesn't hide much. But I didn't allow myself to dwell on it. I told myself I was there to have fun and I deserved to be there and have fun as much as the skinny bikini clad moms did.

I'm hoping that taking that step will help me come out of my funk. I can feel the desire to make a full comeback cracking open. I think it's still something I'll have to force open with my actions. I think right now the action will have to come before the desire!

Out of Control

Don't really know what to call this post. But I know I need to post something. I want my blogs to be an accurate accounting of my journey. Right now I'm completely off track!

Did so well on my drive to Boise! Ate healthy the whole drive. Got in around 8pm and still stayed focused. Got up early and walked the neighborhood. For some reason I felt like I was going to faint. Almost called my sister-in-law to let her know which direction I went in case I didn't come home. Made it back to their house without fainting and had a yummy oatmeal with peaches.

We hurried off to the first of 3 bball games that day. I was still feeling shaky and light headed. Still not sure why. I ate almonds, then had a greek yogurt, and drank lots of water! Still feeling shaky I found some left over movie candy in my purse. Ate it. After the second game we headed back to my brother's for some YUMMY pulled pork. He worked on it for over 16 hours. I had pulled pork and veggies! Then left of the third game of the day.

When we got home everyone bought pizza and Krispy Kreme donuts. I caved. I had 1 donut and three slices of pizza.

The next day my girls and I loaded up and headed home (there were still two more games but I can't drive for hours if I get started in the evening and have to drive in the dark. My intentions were to eat healthy on the drive but this time around I didn't. I felt anxious, bored and know that my eating was due to those emotions.

Monday morning I had all my kids home for Spring break and daycare kids here. I didn't wake up early since I was exhausted from the drive home. I never did get any workouts in yesterday and ATE all the wrong stuff. Today, I've done the same. I feel like I really could care less but that's not accurate. I do care. I don't want to slip completely off like I have so many other times. But for some reason I stuffing food in until I feel almost sick. Candy, chicken nuggets, snickerdoodle cookies, lots of Milk, pancake and eggs....and some strawberries and grapes.

I'm feeling emotionally and mentally drained! I need to snap out of it! Maybe my trip, right before spring break, was TOO MUCH of a whirlwind trip, throwing me TOO off balance. It's only day two of spring break and I want to pull my hair out, climb into a hole and come out when it's all over!

It's 6:20. Haven't made dinner yet but I have several kids asking "What's for dinner?" ARGH, I don't know!!!!!!!

Tomorrow I promised the kids I'd take them to a fun indoor pool place. Taking a 13, 12, 8, 4, 3 and 1 year old is going to take work. I want to let my 13 and 12 yo be in charge of the little kids so I don't have to put a bathing suit on. SIGH, I know that won't really work or be fair.

My weekly weigh-in is tomorrow. I know there will be a HUGE gain. I've got to brush it off and start everything fresh tomorrow. I know with the crazy spring break schedule I won't be able to wake up at my normal early workout time. I'll have to find little 15 minute segments.


P.S. My son's team WON the bball tournament. One player on the team fell hard onto the court, when he picked his head up he was covered in blood. Split his forhead open and got a concussion. Didn't play the third game but, surprisingly, he did play the last two games the next day. His dream college is Boise State University. The coach happened to be at the tournament and this kid played phenomenal even injured and dazed! How fun for him!

Are You Ready For HUNGER GAMES?!!!

I'm talking the movie, not some new fad weight loss diet!

The movie opens at midnight tonight! My daughter bought us tickets. (She hads ulterior motives because she knew she couldn't go at midnight without me, UGH!)

It's 2:30 our time and she is already in line with her crazy friends and a few even CRAZIER moms! I'll be showing up too but I have to wait until daycare leaves at 5:30 AND after I get my family packed for a last minute trip. We're leaving at 10am tomorrow (Uh, after I get home at 3 from the movie). My family is too large to take one car so we'll be taking two! I'll have to drive the whole 8hours. My kiddos better keep me awake!

We've been planning this movie for a long time. I've also been planning my food to eat at it too! I am planning on eating JUNK! I'm going to have popcorn, m&m's and Starburst Jelly Beans (I can only find them at Easter time). I've already portioned out serving sizes and put them in snack size bags. I'll be putting it all in the food tracker. Today I've been counting my calories and will allow myself to go up to the high end of my calorie allotment.

Side note: I have a size 22 pair of jeans in my bathroom (tried them a few weeks ago and left them there). I decided to give it a try. I pulled them up! AND....they zipped up too! A bit tight to be appropriate but give me 5 more lbs and I'll be officially down to a 22! WooHoo!!! (Started in January at a size 26)

A BIRTHDAY Letter To Me

Dear Krista
Happy 45th Birthday!


What a wonderful surprise to wake up to this:

Who would have thought the first FULL day of Spring would have brought this kind of weather.

But one of the best surprises was a visit to the scale. I told the kids, as I went to weigh in, that I was hoping for a total gone of 40. The scale showed 276.6 so the total gone since January 3rd is...
.4

Krista, 2012 has been a great year for you and your 45th year is going to be awesome too!!! WHY? Because you are making it so.

You still have huge financial struggles, you still have a crazy life with a large family, you still have two kids with ADHD that make things harder, you still are obese, you still have troubles with disorganization, you still have a shyness that makes social situations (and new things) hard and painful, you still have physical attributes that you HATE (the large feet, large thighs, bad vericose veins).

These things, and more, have kept you, in the past, from truly finding happiness and joy. Oh, you are a happy person but you found the happiness from other people and events. Weddings, births of children, watching children succeed, vacations, etc... You've never truly allowed yourself to find JOY because of you!

I can see and feel it changing.
In the past you'd fulfill your daily responsibilities for others first and if there was time (or energy) left over then you'd do something for yourself.
In the past you would use the excuse of little kids,daycare kids and being too busy get in the way of getting out of your own four walls and truly experiencing life.
In the past you've set so many weight loss goals. By the time I'm 18. By the time I'm 21. Before I get married. After the birth of my first baby. By the time I'm 30,35, 40 and even 45. Those goals have never been obtained!

Here you are at 45. Are you at the goal you set last year? NO! But you know what you're healthier physically and mentally now! You're making the changes! You've found your self worth. You're realizing that you truly have nothing to give to others unless you give to yourself first.

I'm liking you! You're becoming the person I knew was deep inside wanting out. I enjoy being able to smile when I see you in the mirror AND at times I even seek out those mirrors just so I can.

You're living life more! You're seeking out social situations instead of avoiding them. You've signed up for a 5k, a Sprint Tri and contemplating half marathon too.

As of today you are only 106.6lbs away from goal. You've lost a total of 48.4 from your high of 325. Of course, with today being your birthday, reflection is taking place and setting goals for the future. I know you can set the goal of being at goal weight by next year's 46th birthday.

Will you see 170lbs on the scale on March 21st, 2013? Maybe, I hope so. But if not I know you'll be close. But more importantly than the number on the scale you'll be stronger and healthier, both physically and mentally. You'll have had more adventure in your own life instead of living through your kids. You will have found the ability to truly be happy because of WHO you ARE and who you are still striving in becoming.

Have a GREAT snowy birthday! Have a FANTASTIC year! I can't wait to catch up with you in a year to see ALL the amazing successes you'll have achieved!

Roadblocks For My Sprint Triathalon

Doing the 5k yesterday was, in part, for getting ready for my church's all women Sprint Tri on July 28th.

I've been looking forward to it. It's been keeping me focused. The thought of my 3 older girls doing it with me was exciting.

ROADBLOCK #1 - Because of the interest and so many people signing up they have changed the age. Now only 16 and older can participate which excludes my 12 and 13 yo.

ROADBLOCK #2 - My two older sons (17 and 15) participate in AAU basketball. They have HUGE tournaments in Vegas and LA in July. Last year I sent my sons and dh. This year, since we have two sets of Aunts, Uncles and Cousins that live in Vegas, I promised the whole family we would go.

Vegas tournament has always been first, usually towards the 21st-25th of the month. Then LA is usually the very last days of July. Well, for some reason, this year they switched dates. ARGHHH! We'd planned on going to Vegas then one car of the girls heading home for the TRI and a car of boys heading to LA.

So there are TWO things in our way for completing the TRI as our mom and daughter group.

I'm not letting it stop me. I'm not letting it get me down. We are still training, all four of us. Somehow we'll do a sprint tri. ( For this one it is 500m swim, 12 mile bike ride and then a 5k).

If gas prices get out of control there is the possibility the whole family can't go to Vegas. In that case my older daughter and I will do the Sprint Tri but we'll organize another one just for the four of us. (Actually one of the organizers said she'd give my younger girls permission to do it since she knows how hard we're working towards it but I don't think that would be fair to the other younger girls who had their hearts set on doing it.

Another possibility is while we are in Vegas to find a gym that will let us pay for a day use. Using their pools, spin bikes and treadmill. It wouldnt' be as fun but knowing our church family was doing it at the same time would be motivating.

So, my first 5k is done but the training continues. Now to continue the walking(slight jogging) but to add in the lap swims and cycling.

Krista
I am a bit sore from yesterday. The aches are letting me know I did push it. Need to add some stretching too

My First 5k (Day 75)

WooHoo!!! I think I've caught the bug!

My dh woke up early with us and drove us the 30 minutes to the starting area. I was still a tad nervous, just for the newness of it all, but was very excited to just get out there and exercise! My goal was less than 54:00 minutes and NOT to be last. The fastest I have done a 5k on my treadmill was 53:38 but I know running on pavement is completely different than the cushioning of a treadmill.

The rain came down as we drove to the race town. It was freezing cold as well. My daughters and I walked to the packet pickup area. I saw that the time chips were supposed to go on the shoe. Never having done this before I asked a group of the 10-milers. My girls were embarrassed that I'd approach complete strangers. Hey, I told them I was a newbie and had NO idea how this all worked. They were Awesome and willing to help!

My 12yo skinny minny was FREEZING! I had to keep her in the car most of the time until it started.


This is my 12yo, myself and my 13 yo. We had just pinned on our numbers and still had 30 minutes until the 5k started.

Never having experienced the "race"atmosphere we gathered at the starting line to watch how it was done with the 10-milers. Impressive group! With 15 minutes til our starting we hurried to the port-a-pottie lines and then rushed back to the start.

They held up signs for those who ran a 7mph/mile, 8, 9, and 10 and then said for walkers and strollers to get in the very back. Well, I for sure knew none of those times applied to me but there was no way I was going to the very back of the pack.

We lined up with the 10mph group and I stayed on the outside not to get in anyone's way. My 13 yo was going to run on her own and see how fast she could do it. I required my 12yo to stay with me. She wasn't too thrilled with that. I knew she wouldn't be as fast as her sister but she was probably faster than me.

The horn went off and so did I. What?! I actually jogged the beginning. The adrenaline was going and I was caught up in the emotion of it all. I've heard people warn about this so after jogging for a few minutes I told my dd we were going to walk,  but  to do a fast walk. We walked over the bridge but picked up to a jog to come down it. I was very excited to see the 1mile mark and checked my cell phone app to see how fast I did it. 14:40 WooHoo, I was faster than I had planned.

As we approached the 1mile sign there were the faster 5k'ers coming back around (The two fastest were 14 and 13 and they did it in 19 something...CRAZY!)

As we saw more and more people passing us from the opposite direction I knew we'd be seeing my other dd soon. I was so proud of her when we did, she was doing so great! She was on the other side of the road from us but I held up my arms and cheered her name and yelled! (Another embarrassing moment for my girls).

I guess I like to embarrass my kids because most of the volunteers I passed I would tell them, "thanks so much for volunteering!" and I chatted several times with fellow racers. My 12yo said she's NEVER racing with me again! It's too embarrassing!

At one point I wished my legs would cooperate more. My lungs felt fine, like they could push it more, but my legs didn't have it in them. We jogged for about a minute several more times then I decided to not do more, I was going to save my energy to be able to jog across the finish line.

The rain that came down on us at the beginning part of the race started tapering off and finally quit with a bit of sun popping out. Beautiful! It was still cold and my legs felt it!

I called my dh on our final stretch to let him know we were coming in. He was standing there with our 13yo taking pictures/videos. Right before the finish line my 12yo took off and ended up finishing 6seconds ahead of me.

My time....

47:06

I was/am THRILLED with my time! My age category was 40-44. I got 17th place out of 20. In 4 days I'll be 45, I think I should have put my age down as 45 then I would have been 12th in that age group.

What a wonderful event! They had water, oranges, bananas, cinammon rolls, pizza an cookies waiting at the end!  I opted just for water and oranges to hold back the cravings and to stay on plan. They were also SUPER organized, posting results periodically.  I didn't have to wait more than 8minutes to see my official result.

As we got in the car to come home my 13 yo (who got 35:15, 8th place out of 34 in her 11-14 yr old group) said, "So what race are we doing next month?"

I've been looking and have found a few but probably will wait until May. Don't know if my obese body and crazy schedule can handle doing one a month.

I'm loving this Non-Scale Victory!

By the way...I did this weighing 282.6 (a total loss of 42.4) And here is what I look like:

Twas The Night Before....

My first ever 5k. Nerves had been running strong all week. It had been a week full of family/life/weather craziness.

My 12yo had her friend birthday party...bowling. What was supposed to have been an easy thing for me (no cleaning, everyone meeting there, etc..) ended up being thwarted because ALL the friends said they needed rides and ALL showed up at my home. (to be honest my 12yo probably offered to take everyone!) We had to take two cars, drive everyone there and then drive them all home. ARGH!!!!!

We got home around 8:30 and I started to gather things around for our 5k. 15minutes after walking in the door the lights went out and the house was PITCH BLACK! Kids were all in various parts of our home and they started freaking out. My dh and I grabbed our cell phones and went out to the front to see if it was just our home or the neighborhood. It was the neighborhood.

My husband quickly gathered candles and flashlights while I gathered the kids up and calmed my youngest.

To be honest I was irritated. I wanted to be all ready for the 5k and get to bed early since we were waking up at 6am. But instead we made a inconvenient experience turn into a Positive one.

My daughter had a friend stay after the party. We grabbed my laptop and put in a movie (thankfully it was fully charged for the two of them) My skinny-mini daughter was freezing. She had to cuddle under a blanket and then her friend layed on top of her using her as a pillow. I have to admit I thought, "Great she's going to be so cold tomorrow for the run with the expected temperature and rain."

My oldest son's girlfriend was here and my mom was visiting from two hours away. We put a lit candle on the table and my 17yo, his girlfriend and my mom played Chutes and Ladders with my 8yo and 4yo and then continued with Memory, Dora version.

My little one didn't last long with the game and she wanted to play with a birthday balloon that was hanging on the wall for my mom's birthday (that same day). My husband and I ended up playing volleyball and soccer with her and that balloon.

What a wonderful experience it was!!! If the lights hadn't gone out we would have all been in our own "zones" doing our own things. Two of my other kids were gone at friends' homes and the lights came back on before I stumbled to bed around 11pm. Thank Goodness! I was thrilled to be able to set my alarm for 6am and that I wouldn't have to rely on my extremely low battery operated cell phone to do the job.

Just this morning my 4yo came up to me and said, "I hope the lights go back off today. That was a lot of FUN!"

Rain Rain Go AWAY!

I live in the Pacific Northwest and our weather this week has been CRAZY!

Beginning on Sunday we had dumping rain, moments of  snow and rain mixed  and a bit of hail. As the night approached the winds picked up. Monday the winds were destructive! Huge trees snapped in half, street signs knocked down, our basketball hoop blown over, and MUCH more. Add to the wind...more RAIN. Monday night, early Tuesday morning we had SNOW which as it warmed up turned back to .... more RAIN!

Yesterday...RAIN! Today...DUMPING RAIN!

I know with living in the NW rain is expected but we usually don't have this kind of rain at this time and what's making it worse is the temperatures are COLD, much colder than normal.

In TWO days time, exactly at this same time, I'll be lining up with my daughters and, who knows how many, strangers to walk/jog my first official 5K. As I look outside my window it is dark, gray, WINDY, and, yes, DUMPING RAIN! The weather for Saturday shows more showers, no sun and a low of 37.

Never being an outdoor adventurous girl (I got up to 325 from staying inside with hot cocoa, donuts, candy and a good book on these kind of days NOT doing a 5k) I don't have the right gear!

I'll make do. I'll be cold, I'll be wet but I will DO IT!!! I'm sure after experiencing it I'll be on the hunt to find weather appropriate workout clothes.

If you have knowledge in this department PLEASE share!

Got Off Track

Yesterday started out as a great day!

I do daycare, 3 kids from two different families. One family texted saying their two kids would be staying home to get over a cold. The other family texted saying that due to a huge storm we had and trees falling in their neighborhood they decided to drive to their in-laws an hour away and stay there. What was going to be a busy day ended up looking pretty calm. Just me and my 4yo, Hannah-Kate, while the older kids were at school.

Since I'm doing my first 5k on Saturday I didn't want to do any huge workout this week. I got on the treadmill and ended up doing 2.5 miles. Then, still in the morning hours, I received an e-mail that threw some stress onto my day. In the past any stress would lead me directly to food! This time, since I didn't have extra kids, I went back out to the treadmill and was able to get another workout in. I actually ended up doing a 5k during this workout session. I actually walked at a 3.5mph and was able to get a little jog in at 4.0 and at 4.2! Wow, 5.6 miles in for my day, I was feeling great!

My day got busier as I got a phone call from the school, at 1:45, saying my 8yo son was sick. I ran and picked him up, then had to head to the high school to pick up my 15 and 17 yo sons. My middle-school-aged daughters came home 30 minutes later. Then it was back out taking the 15yo to a commitment. While I was driving him my 13 yo daughter called in a panic, "Mom, there is water spraying all over the garage!" ACK! Thankfully my husband was home and in his office so I told her to go mention that to dad.

When I arrived home I saw the garage door open, our driveway covered with boxes and things from the interior of the garage and my husband stressed! The hot water heater had gone bad and ended up spraying out the top all over the place! We spent the afternoon trying to dry things out and salvage as much as we could.

At 5:30 my 8yo had to be to his basketball team's end of season celebration at a pizza parlor. DH stayed home to work on the hot water heater while I took the younger kids. This pizza is AMAZING! I ordered myself a salad and was NOT going to have any soda. As I sat at our table with pepperoni pizza and Hawaiian sitting in front of me I couldn't resist. The slices were small so I told myself there was plenty of room in my calorie allotment to have 2 slices, one of each. Oh, my gosh! It was so delicious I could NOT stop!!! I lost track of how many I had. Not that I ate that much (I mean, I still had pizza left over to bring my husband and two older sons) I think I just didn't want to know the damage so I didn't keep track.

Having all those carbs started the CRAVINGS to run crazy! While my husband was out in the garage and my other kids gone or tucked in bed I pulled out a ding dong AND a chocolate covered granola bar! Today was weigh in day, 284.6 a gain of 1.4 since last week.

My old self would have thought that there was no use sticking to my plan, just throw in the towel and eat other food that I've been craving. But that's NOT who I am now. I am focusing on getting healthy. I'm on a LIFETIME journey not just a diet. I know there will be times that I get off track. How quickly I get back on will determine how bad the damage will be.

It's a new day, almost lunch time. For today I have done 30min of cardio (chose a DVD instead of the treadmill) and my nutrition has been on the mark with LOTS of water thrown in.

Three more days until the 5k. It looks like it will be a COLD and WET one. This whole week's weather has been extremely wierd. We've had wind storms, dumping rain, hale and even snow. With this 5k being my first and most of my training has been done inside on a treadmill, I'm not really sure how to prepare for the weather. I guess it's something I'll learn through trial and error.

Okay, the Nerves Have Hit!

As I mentioned yesterday I signed up for a 5k. Although I've been to the town where the 5k is being held I had no idea the exact location. Today we took the 30 minute drive as a family to scope things out. I printed the map and we were able to locate the starting point (which is also the finishing). We drove the course and that's when the nerves started hitting. In the description it says it's a flat course. True, it is, for the most part. But at, about, .5 mile in it starts going uphill on a bridge that crosses a river. It's quite a rise, then descent. Since the route finishes the same way it starts that means towards the end it's the same but in reverse. Driving 3.1 miles seems MUCH further than when I walk it outside and on the treadmill. I was a little bit concerned with the territory we covered. I'm going to try and not let my nerves show. My daughters are doing this with me so I have to be the all-confident, all-knowing Mom so that they will not be any more nervous than I'm sure they already are. I pulled up the results from last year. The slowest jogger/walker did the 5k in 54 minutes. There were about 75 5k'ers. (More for the 10mile segment). I'm hoping what they say is true, that during a race environment you actually go faster! It's also amazing to see how the kicked up nerves is revving up my food cravings and desires to eat and binge! I'll probably feel this way all week so I need to stay vigilant on staying the course. To top it off, my newly turned 12 yo daughter is having her friend party Friday night. Thankfully not at our house but it's NOT what I want to be doing when I have to leave the house at 6:45 the next morning. Okay, DEEP BREATH! This is part of the journey. Growth and Challenge! I will not become the stronger person by hybernating in my home. That's what I've been doing for the past 44 years and look where that got me! I chose the name Overhauling-Me not just to represent the weight I'll be losing but to represent ALL that I need to improve. Overcoming my fears WILL make me stronger and will help me be a better parent...Leading by example.

I Signed Up For My First 5k

I just signed up for my first official 5k!!! It is being held next Saturday, March 17th, and is at a town 25min away. My 12 and 13 yo daughters are signed up too. The three of us will be setting our first 5k time. A time that we'll be able to improve on as we get stronger, fitter and healthier! We're still preparing for our Sprint Tri in July and this will be great training for us! This morning I woke up early and did a 5k on my treadmill. I broke my previous time of 55:38 by 2 minutes. Today's time, 53:38. I did it HIIT style and was able to jog a few minutes at 3.8mph and, YES, even at 4.0! That's a first for me! Not sure how my outdoor, crowded 5k will compare to my treadmill 5k but I'm looking forward to finding out. Now to commit to and sign-up for more races to keep me focused on my goals for 2012!

Two More Non Scale Victories!

Last night I needed to run to the store to get spiral notebooks for my high school boys and stock up on some healthy food for me. My little 4yo wanted to come. I hesitated taking her because it was 7:45 and she was already an exhausted mess. But I was game, the healthy me has A LOT more patience and energy to deal with that.

After finishing up the shopping, which, by the way, my little one did great, we headed back out to the car. SHOOT! Someone parked TOO close to me. I hate that. In the past I've had someone climb in and back the car out for me (if they were a driver) or would have climbed in from the other side and tried to climb over to the driver seat. I was able to open the passenger side to have my little one climb in but, dangit, her carseat was behind the driver seat.

#1 NSV - I was actually able to open my driver door open a crack and squeezed myself in!!!

#2 NSV - Once in the car, with the driver door closed, I was actually able to turn completely around in the driver seat to buckle up my 4yo.

244

Okay, small NSVs but the times I haven't been able to do either of those have mentally beaten me up and left me feeling embarrassed, devastated and unworthy.

Can't wait to see how tight of space I can shimmy through as the weight continues to drop!

End of Week 9

It's amazing how fast time goes by. March 7th would have come today whether I was on this journey or not. Thank goodness I chose to get started and have been going for the past 9 weeks. I'm really enjoying the results! But it's just the tip of the iceberg.

I guess my results have been enough for people to notice. Last night I ran into a friend at the high school orientation for our 8th graders. This morning I received a phone call from her. "How are you doing it, how are you staying away from the junk?" she asked. With a bit of a pause from me she then said, "Or are you?"

That's the thing I'm NOT staying away from the junk. Am I eating it every day, NO! Is it the main dish for my meals like before? NO! I was honest and told her I've been to the movies with my husband and had popcorn and M&Ms. I had cheesecake with cherries for our family Valentines dinner. I've had birthday ice cream for my kids and, yes, even a cupcake. I've had pizza, rolls and lasagna. But the key, at least for me, I told her is that this is a lifestyle change. I can't realistically give up 100% of all those things for the rest of my life. But I pick and choose what I want and when I want it.

At the last two basketball games for my son my in-laws came too. And with them they brought hot tamales, chocolate pieces, cashews loaded with salt. While there they purchased soda, popcorn and skittles. All of those items were offered around to our group. I said No. I had my almonds, water bottle and dried apricots to eat for my snacking if I had the need. I will not accept everything offered to me, I will consciously make my food choices.

I felt great getting the call from my friend, saying she's noticed my hard work. Later today I saw a lady I haven't seen since before Christmas. She too noticed that I've lost weight. What a great feeling. I have to admit I did stand a bit taller and tucked my belly in (as much as I could).

I've had very satisfying results for these 9 weeks. I can't wait to see what another 9 weeks will bring, then 18, 27, and even 99!

Happy EARLY Birthday To ME!!!

At the beginning of this journey, for 2012, I had set the goal for me to no longer be Morbidly Obese by my 45th birthday (March 21st). To do so my BMI needed to be 39.99 or lower. Starting on January 3rd, with a weight of 317, (all time high 325) my BMI was 44.21. To get out of the Morbidly Obese classification I had to lose 31lbs.

Well, as of this morning I DID IT! I weighed in at 285.6 A total pounds gone of 31.4 My BMI is currently 39.83

I'm still in the Obese category, Class 2 but that WILL change too. To get into the Class 1 Obese range I have to lose 35.6. That will happen this summer!

On to another note, a NON Scale Victory. Yesterday, being Saturday, I decided to try a longer workout on my treadmill. I watched an old episode of Biggest Loser. The online program said it was 1 hr and 25 minutes. I've walked for 60 minutes before so felt confident I could add another 25 minutes to my workout. (I did lower my incline to a 2).

It was quite the workout. My cardio and lungs seemed to be fine but my hip area and feet were the problems. I think for long workouts I need to find better socks. No aches today so I know I didn't overdo it. But as I stayed committed to working out until my show was over I ended up walking 96 minutes. Hmmm, maybe the little commercials they throw in weren't counted towards the 85 that were listed. According to my treadmill I walked 5.1 miles in that time. I kept my pace mostly at 3.1 with a few moments of higher (actually jogged for just one minute at 3.8).

I'm excited to see how much stronger and healthier I can become. Yesterday, 5.1 miles a few months from now? A Half-Marathon? Who knows.

Day 59: February Reflection, Goals for March

I wasn't too successful in completing the goals I had for February. They were:

GOAL for February:
1. Lose 10lbs
2. Figure out a more comprehensive ST program
3. Increase monthly exercise minutes to 1920 (Jan was 1880)
4. Drink 72 oz of water each day.
5. Schedul appointment with trainer for body fat

1. Actually lost 13.8 WooHoo!

2. I didn't do much ST this month. Still really want to figure out a program. I need to build up some muscle to fill in the lose skin I'll have. If anyone wants to share what they do I'm ALL ears.

3. Uh, NO. Unfortunately I feel like I spent 1/3 of the month sick. Haven't done more than 25 minutes of cardio for the past week. March WILL be different!

4. I have this down! Huge change for me since in December I could go more than a week with no water and only a few glasses of milk.

5. No body fat measured. Still want to do it but I guess it's less important to me than actually doing the work to make it go down. I'm sure I started in the low 50s or high 40s.

After uping my workouts around the end of January my food tracker upped the recommended calories I should eat (1550-1900) I'm having a harder time sticking there. Doing okay with the lower end.

I'm excited about my workouts. I've gotten so much stronger. My treadmill incline went to a 4.0 and I've been able to jog at 3.6 for one minute segments. I also lasted on the elliptical for 30 minutes at a level 2!

Okay, now for March's goals:
1. Increase monthly exercise minutes to 2000. YES, I'm going to do it.
2. Cook/prepare one new healthy meal a week. I really need to add more variety.
3. Sign-up for and walk in my FIRST 5k
4. Lose 10lbs ( stick to my original goal of no longer being Morbidly Obese by my birthday, March 21st. Actually have only 1.8lbs until I reach that goal.)
5. Be consistent with my kids doing at least ONE job a day. (I need to make sure I get my ME time and need the help with all the mess they create)

I took measurements and pictures today. I'll post it tomorrow. I hope.