Out of Control

Don't really know what to call this post. But I know I need to post something. I want my blogs to be an accurate accounting of my journey. Right now I'm completely off track!

Did so well on my drive to Boise! Ate healthy the whole drive. Got in around 8pm and still stayed focused. Got up early and walked the neighborhood. For some reason I felt like I was going to faint. Almost called my sister-in-law to let her know which direction I went in case I didn't come home. Made it back to their house without fainting and had a yummy oatmeal with peaches.

We hurried off to the first of 3 bball games that day. I was still feeling shaky and light headed. Still not sure why. I ate almonds, then had a greek yogurt, and drank lots of water! Still feeling shaky I found some left over movie candy in my purse. Ate it. After the second game we headed back to my brother's for some YUMMY pulled pork. He worked on it for over 16 hours. I had pulled pork and veggies! Then left of the third game of the day.

When we got home everyone bought pizza and Krispy Kreme donuts. I caved. I had 1 donut and three slices of pizza.

The next day my girls and I loaded up and headed home (there were still two more games but I can't drive for hours if I get started in the evening and have to drive in the dark. My intentions were to eat healthy on the drive but this time around I didn't. I felt anxious, bored and know that my eating was due to those emotions.

Monday morning I had all my kids home for Spring break and daycare kids here. I didn't wake up early since I was exhausted from the drive home. I never did get any workouts in yesterday and ATE all the wrong stuff. Today, I've done the same. I feel like I really could care less but that's not accurate. I do care. I don't want to slip completely off like I have so many other times. But for some reason I stuffing food in until I feel almost sick. Candy, chicken nuggets, snickerdoodle cookies, lots of Milk, pancake and eggs....and some strawberries and grapes.

I'm feeling emotionally and mentally drained! I need to snap out of it! Maybe my trip, right before spring break, was TOO MUCH of a whirlwind trip, throwing me TOO off balance. It's only day two of spring break and I want to pull my hair out, climb into a hole and come out when it's all over!

It's 6:20. Haven't made dinner yet but I have several kids asking "What's for dinner?" ARGH, I don't know!!!!!!!

Tomorrow I promised the kids I'd take them to a fun indoor pool place. Taking a 13, 12, 8, 4, 3 and 1 year old is going to take work. I want to let my 13 and 12 yo be in charge of the little kids so I don't have to put a bathing suit on. SIGH, I know that won't really work or be fair.

My weekly weigh-in is tomorrow. I know there will be a HUGE gain. I've got to brush it off and start everything fresh tomorrow. I know with the crazy spring break schedule I won't be able to wake up at my normal early workout time. I'll have to find little 15 minute segments.


P.S. My son's team WON the bball tournament. One player on the team fell hard onto the court, when he picked his head up he was covered in blood. Split his forhead open and got a concussion. Didn't play the third game but, surprisingly, he did play the last two games the next day. His dream college is Boise State University. The coach happened to be at the tournament and this kid played phenomenal even injured and dazed! How fun for him!