Everybody Else but NOT Me!

As a mom of 7, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a daycare provider and being a person that CAN'T say NO I've always put other people's needs, desires, wants before mine. Then to top it off, being afraid of the doctor (mostly because of the scale) I haven't taken the time to take care of me. I rarely go to the dentist and I haven't seen the eye doctor (which I need to) not because I'm afraid of their scale (there isn't any) but I'm embarrassed with my size and most chairs are starting to get tight in the hip area.

For the past year and a half I literally have felt like I am dying. I've cried to myself and not confided in anyone not even my hubby (until August) but yet I didn't go to the doctor. I let my weight get in the way. I've been having pains in the left quadrant of my chest, difficulty breathing, extreme light headedness even at times when I'm sitting down and feet that feel like they are broken which causes me to walk with a slight limp. Anyone of those reasons should have been enough to get me to the doctor but, NO. Due to my climbing weight this year and the fact that my female doctor left and I was assigned a male one I was too embarrassed to go in. I used the excuse that I was too busy.

I've had a cold/cough for the past two weeks which has turned into a sinus infection. I've done everything I could think of to cure it on my own so I wouldn't have to go in but it just won't go away. On Monday is when I started my plan, with determination, to get ME HEALTHY! On Tuesday I decided that part of getting me healthy was visiting with my doctor about my concerns and realized I could use the sinus infection to help me get myself there and use it to open the door. I called that same day hoping to get right in so I wouldn't chicken out but the soonest they had available was Friday, today.

While my mom was in town, after we walked our 5k, I told her what I've been feeling and she encouraged me to write down EVERY little thing that is ailing me so that I could make sure to mention it to the doctor.

I was nervous all day today leading up to my appointment but at the same time relieved because I knew I was taking an important step to get healthy and have my health provider on my side as I begin the process to OVERHAUL-ME!

The doctor's scale had me at 319 (higher than my starting weight on Monday). I haven't weighed yet but I'm sure my body has lost something. Each scale is just different. My blood pressure was 124/180. In the acceptable range but HIGH for me so that added to my concern. I talked to my doctor about my sinuses and thyroid (had a problem with it during my last pregnancy) then got into the nitty gritty about my chest pains, dizziness, and my pursuit to lose weight. We didn't have a lot of time to go over things because he wasn't expecting to be hit with a list of problems but he's being pro-active with me. It may have helped that I sat in his chair crying to him, "I have seven kids at home who need me. I need to be here for them. I don't want to die, I need to get healthy!"

He sent me to the lab to get my thyroid tested and said while I was there he wanted to do an EKG and an X-ray. I'm going back in two weeks to discuss the results and talk more about my symptoms and then in a month I'm going back for a complete one hour physical {I've never had one except the girly part at the O.B.) so he'll know more details about my health before advising me on my weight loss plan.

OVERHAULING-ME is my goal as I mentioned in my first blog post. I don't just want to see the numbers on the scale go down. I want to be healthy emotionally and from the inside out and make my weaknesses become strengths. It's time for me to take care of MYSELF first then I'll be around and more capable of taking care of EVERYBODY else.